A Little Local Support

This week we got to attend our first local adoption support group.  I think it is actually run by the woman that prepared our home study.  We rushed to get there after Mark got off work, but I was a little unsure of the turnout because it was raining steadily.  Well, only one other family was there.  It was nice, though, to at least meet one other family who is going through the same thing as we are.  In fact, it was good to not focus on myself so much.  We found out that they have been waiting 2 and 1/2 years so far to bring home their children!  Wow!  When I think I've been waiting long, I remember now that it is nothing compared to some other families' journeys.  I am looking forward to meeting some more families that we can share experiences and information with.  So, we'll see how next month's meeting will go.

Mr. Elephant

Today I found a really cute, and really soft stuffed elephant for our little one.  It will be their first stuffed animal.

I do have a special intention for this guy, if it works out.  One of the distressing things for a baby being adopted into a new family is all the "strange" smells, i.e. everything smells different than their home country.  Our baby's mommy and daddy, us, will have a different scent than they are used to.  So, one idea that has been suggested is to pick a stuffed animal, blanket, something soft, and keep it close to us to get our scents.  Then hopefully we can send it on to our baby's foster care (I am not really sure what the living situation will be for our baby, but will I use "foster care" for this example) before we get there.  That way, the baby gets to know our scents before we arrive to whisk them away to a new and strange land.  One other plus, hopefully while our baby gets to cuddle with Mr. Elephant, he will retain some of the scents of their country.  When our little one arrives here, and is getting used to a new place, a familiar smell (coming from Mr. Elephant) will help to calm them.  If we aren't able to send him, at least our baby has a cute elephant waiting for them when they come home.

Blog-matic for Burundi

Sometimes during this adoption journey I can feel very alone.  Especially since we moved from a community with several adoptive families to the UK, where I know one family, who has adopted from the foster care system.  Therefore, I am trying to seek out community by going online.

There are many adoption blogs out there, and many adoptive families feel blogging about their experience is therapeutic, and is helpful for them....and provides a place for updates on the process.  I have found several blogs that have been encouraging to me.  But here is the problem:

Not only do I long to find others going through the adoption process in general, I want to find others who are in the same boat as me.  I want to find other families who are adopting transracially, I want to find other families who are adopting from Africa, and I want to find other families who are adopting from Burundi. Though I can find some blogs of families that meet some of those desires, I can't find many adopting from Burundi.  I know that I can learn from people who have adopted from Ethiopia, Rwanda, Uganda, etc.  But it's not the same as getting first hand accounts from someone who has adopted from Burundi.  

Such is the nature of being a "pioneer" in the Burundi adoption program.  We are the trail blazers.  We will be the ones to set the course for hopefully many others.  But sometimes being "first" is not all it's cracked up to be.  As far as we know, there is one family before us adopting from Burundi, and I am thankful I am not in their position.  They have been waiting for a long time, while the courts/government in Burundi get everything sorted out.  But neither our family nor theirs has the benefit of countless blogs of families who have gone before us.  We don't have the benefit of videos and photos and slide-shows of the adoption journey of different families before us.

Sometimes I am just dying for information!  Please show me a photo!  Please let me find a video!  But there is not much available.  I think to myself, could I just sneak on a plane and go down to visit Burundi myself?  But I know that would not be the wisest decision.  There is just a huge desire for someone else to know exactly what we are going through.  And so, I end up feeling somewhat alone in this journey.

I know that God knew what He was doing when He called us to adopt from Burundi.  It is His purpose for us to be "pioneers" in this process.  Even though I feel alone, I know that I am never really alone.  "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8)  And God is the only one who knows exactly what I am feeling, because He knows my heart.  "And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." (Romans 8:27)  I am thankful for a Savior who did not leave ME as an orphan.  "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God." (John 1:12)

So, through my insatiable desire for information and community, I long to be satisfied in the fellowship with the Father, and trust that He knows what is going on, and He will reveal it to me in His time.

Thanks for sticking with me through my frustrations and raw feelings about this process.

Planning for Baby

One thing that is hard to do because we are adopting is shop.  I love to shop, but I don't know who I am shopping for.  A boy? A girl? An infant? A toddler?  And when are they coming?  So, there is not much I can really plan at this point.  As I was telling my friend about this dilemma, she reminded me that one thing I could do is start collecting children's books.  What a good idea!

So I went to the local thrift shop and picked up these books today, all for $2.25.

Though these are good inexpensive books, what books would you recommend for children?  Any books you know that focus on adoption?

Burundi's Road To Recovery - Burundi

I wanted to share a video about Burundi.  It's 2 years old, but it has some nice cultural information about the country and the Burundian president.  It's kind of a long video, so if you are ready to sit for 21 minutes, here it is:

Words on Wednesday: updates, thoughts, and prayer requests

I called the agency preparing our home study yesterday, and one of the two missing files has come in.  That is good news.  Now, it's up to one lady in Florida to get the last file in.  I've left several messages for her, and have never been able to get in touch with her.  So, keep praying.

I have been working on filing out our application for the US government as well.  That is going OK.

As I am looking at what we have left to do in more detail, I am becoming aware that the whole process may take longer than I thought.  I might have underestimated how long it would take us to get forms back, and approvals.  So, the temptation for me is to worry.  I know that I shouldn't worry, so please pray that I put all my trust in God and His timing.  I thought I would also re-share our prayer requests we asked for when we announced we were adopting:

-Pray for us to trust in God’s control. 

-Pray He finds the right child at the right time for our family.

-Pray for the health and safety of our child.

-Pray for our patience to wait to be joined together.

-Pray for the process to move along smoothly and quickly.

-Pray for God to prepare us to be parents.

-Pray for eyes and hearts to be opened to our story and our new child.

-And pray for God to provide all our needs.

We appreciate your prayers and support so much.

Statistic Saturday

I just thought I would post a few statistics about Burundi today.

Burundi's total population is about 9.5 million.

There are about 6.33 children per woman.  That's a lot of kids!

Over 100,000 people are living with HIV/AIDS.

The median age in Burundi is 16 years.

The infant mortality rate in Burundi is 64 deaths per 1000 live births.

About 93% of the population's labor force is in agriculture.

68% of the population is below the poverty line.

Statistics taken from CIA world fact book.

I am not mentioning these statistics to slam Burundi, but to make you aware of the people that live there.  I hope to post more information on the country in a later post.  There are many needs in Burundi.  Please pray for the country.

Update One

Hello to all of you who have joined us on this journey.  I first want to put out there an update on where we stand in the process of our adoption.  First let me show you a rough timeline/checklist, as far as we understand it.  The simple version to begin with:

1. Fill out paperwork -----> 2. Get approved -----> 3. Go pick up our child!

Now for a more detailed checklist.  It looks like a lot.  Try not to get all confused.  OK, so, after we decide to adopt, we need to....

1. Find an agency to help us in the adoption
2. Meet with a someone who will prepare a home study for us
3. Send off paperwork, i.e. background checks, to accumulate in our home study report
4. Complete home study report and have it checked over.
5. Apply for approval from the US Government (USCIS)
6. Get fingerprinted and background checked, again
7. Compile all paperwork, and verify everything, into a dossier
8. Send dossier to Burundi
9. Receive information on current children waiting for adoption in Burundi, and let God guide us to the one who will be our child.
10. Fly to Burundi to pick up our child!

*A few terms, and our attempt at a definition:
Home study = A report prepared, usually by a social worker, describing the family who wishes to adopt, and states whether or not they seem fit and ready to be parents.  Includes criminal background checks, child abuse registry checks, FBI checks, autobiographies, references, birth certificates, marriage licenses, pictures, etc.  This report helps the US government decide if the family is able to adopt internationally.
Dossier = A complete folder of information on the Family which is sent to the country of adoption's government for approval.  Includes the home study report, officially verified documents, and US government approval.  This folder helps the country's government decide if the family will adopt from their country.
*I may compile a list of terms in a later post, or choose to define as I go.  We'll see.*

OK, so now for the update.  We have completed steps 1-3, and are working on step 4, completing our home study.  It is in the review process.  I am waiting to receive word that they have everything that they need and that the home study report is in order.

Now for the caveat, not everything goes exactly as planned.  For instance, when I thought that we had our home study done a month ago, upon further review, we were told we needed some more paperwork that was missing.  And that is how it goes.  So, we are not upset about this, but know that God's timing is perfect, even what seem to be "interruptions" in the process.  He is in control of when and how everything will come together.

So we welcome your prayers for a smooth process, and of course, feel free to pray for it to move quickly as well. :-)  Thanks for stopping by, I hope to post more soon.