We're Expecting......!

We got our referral of a baby in Uganda, and.........

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!

Our Soon-to-Be Daughter: She is super cute! She is about four months old right now and seems to be healthy.  We are super excited that this came so quickly and unexpectantly.  As we said before, we really had to let go and let God have his way with our adoption process.  It was when we were suffering the disappointment of losing our hope to adopt from Burundi that Uganda came along.  We didn't expect it, nor think of it, but God placed it in our laps.  On top of that, He has now placed a little girl in our view.  This is God's amazing favor upon us!!  We hope that we will soon become her family.  She has been set apart for our family, but it will take a lot of paperwork before we can bring her home.

Timeline: Those in the adoption world know there is a usual timeline to international adoptions.  That has not been true with us.  We have been blessed to have received information about our soon-to-be daughter, but we have been put in the position that we have to start all over from ground zero with our paperwork.  It doesn't make sense, but that is where we are.

Paperwork: On Saturday we visited the lady who will be preparing our homestudy, and we found out that nothing seems to have "transferred."  All our hard work getting paperwork done since a year and a half ago, all the time spent, all the money spent, all the agonizing.... none of it has made a tangible difference in where we are now.  This is very hard for me to deal with.  I am frustrated.  But though there may not be a practical outcome to what we went through, there are so many lessons that were learned.  There has been spiritual growth and educational growth.  I feel like I know a TON more now than when we started this process brand new.  Though, I still have a lot to learn!  I have also learned many lessons of trusting the Lord.  I see why worrying is so unproductive, because things will happen in God's perfect timing!

Pregnancy: So we are Paper Pregnant!  We are expecting.  Being at this stage is like when you first find out that you are pregnant.  It seems unbelievable, and you don't really notice any difference, but you know that it is really true, and there will be a baby coming in about 9 months.  We expect about the same timeline with our "pregnancy," but it could go much quicker.  The coolest part of our version, is that we already know at this point that it will be a girl!  We also know her name, and what she looks like!  This is so cool!  There are, of course, precautions.  We know that nothing is "for certain" at this point.  We may experience an "adoption miscarriage" and not be able to bring her home with us.  So, we trust and pray that we will, but lay everything in God's hands.

Prayer: Please pray for us!  We have a lot of work to do to get ready for baby Struska to come home. Pray that I do not get overwhelmed by the paperwork.  Pray that things move smoothly and quickly though the mail. Pray that she is protected and taken care of.  Pray for the legal work that needs to happen in Uganda.  Pray for a time of patient waiting as we watch her grow older and older in the orphanage and long to bring her home.  Also, please pray for us as we prepare paperwork for our other adoption from the Democratic Republic of Congo at the same time!


Pictures: So, we are not sharing her name on here just yet, nor full pictures.  But I wanted to leave you with some clues to what she looks like.

Here is her cute little hand.  She is dressed in an adorable yellow shirt:

She already has a lot of hair!

And somebody dressed her in a baseball outfit.  Hmm.... I wonder what that means for her future?

Please feel free to drop us a note of encouragement.  If anyone knows some great organizational tips for a truckload of paperwork, send them our way!  Thank you all for your prayers for us on this journey!

And So the Craziness Begins...

We are now officially one of those CRAZY families who are pursuing a concurrent adoption!  We have submitted our application today for adopting from the Democratic Republic of Congo!

We have felt led by the Lord to begin this process and we are very excited about it!  Some people may think it is crazy to be adopting from two different countries at the same time, using two different agencies, a third agency for our homestudy, and living in a completely different county from all of these!  But we say that we are crazy for what God is crazy about!

Recently while praying about this decision in our lives, I asked the Lord, "Where do you want us to adopt from?  We want to make the right decision.  Uganda, the DRC, where?"  And immediately I felt the reply, "Where wouldn't you adopt from?"  There are orphans in both countries, children that need homes and loving families.  Why would I limit God and say, "Whoa now God, we only have room for orphans from one country at a time, please."  Who else is going to die of hunger or disease, or be mistreated, while we wait to adopt from only one country at a time?  The need is great.

Me: But God, I don't know if I can handle all this!  

God: I know, but I can.  And I will be with you, and enable you to do all that I desire of you.

Praise the Lord that He is strong when I am weak!  And so the craziness begins...

Where we are now....

I guess that I am announcing that we are officially beginning the process to adopt from Uganda.  This is something totally unexpected for us in this journey.  We started out fully pursuing Burundi, and now here we are in the Uganda program with our new agency.  We are not sure where this journey towards Uganda will take us.  We are not even sure that it will eventually come to an adoption, but that is our pursuit at this point.

Why are we adopting from Uganda?  Because that seems to be where the Lord has placed us.  He placed us.  Not we chose this for ourselves and made it happen on our own terms.  He has a purpose for us being in this program at this time.  Maybe it took awhile to get here, and a lot of disappointment, but He has brought us here.  I have peace in knowing that I did not control this situation.  I did not force it, and I did not tell God, "You must do it this way!"  Uganda happened to us.

God has shown me so much of His goodness and favor recently.  We are excited to see where this new program leads us!  We have a lot of paperwork to do still for this.  So please pray the process goes smoothly.

We are also still looking into the Democratic Republic of Congo.  I am being very cautious before we decide anything.  But maybe, soon enough we will be officially in that program as well.  Thanks for all your prayers!

BAD NEWS, but NEWS THAT GOD HAS ORDAINED

Yes, it is BAD NEWS.

My heart has been ripped open this weekend as we were told by our agency that we will NOT be able to adopt from Burundi.  We were told that what they discovered when they were in Africa a few weeks ago, was that Burundi does not have the system in place to process adoptions according to regulations of the Hague Treaty that they signed.  They are simply not at the point to process anything right now.  And adoptions from Burundi at this point are NOT A VIABLE OPTION.

I feel that we have suffered a terrible loss.  Our hopes, our dreams, our prayers for our little child from Burundi have been cut off.  We will not get to see them come to fruition, at least not at this time.  I can not describe how painful it has been to deal with this loss, as well as wrestle with questioning what God is doing with our lives.  Let's just say I have cried every day that we found out, multiple times a day.

I did not want to share this info with anyone.  I did not want to be exposed.  I felt so raw.  But, God was working hard on my heart.  He has shown me a lot in these past couple of days.  I have been faced with my desire to control everything in life.  I have been faced with my own pride.  I have been faced with my lack of faith.  I have been pushed placed at the bottom.  But this is exactly where I need to be.  Completely dependent on the Lord, not on myself.

It is here at the bottom that I have a choice to offer worship to My God as a sacrifice of praise, when I don't feel like trusting Him.  My feelings do not change the fact of who God is.  They do not change the fact that I must trust Him, and give Him thanks in all circumstances.

I simply DO NOT UNDERSTAND what God is doing.  I want to know WHY?  Why did this happen?  Why did we spend our time, energy, and resources on a baby that will never come to be with our family?  But I do not have to know why.  I do not have to understand.  That is what faith is about!  What I must know, is what God says to be true in His Word,

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." ~Romans 8:28

God is working this loss for good in my life.  I may not see the good now, or maybe not ever (Oh, I hope I do!), but He is working.

Well, where does that leave us now?  We have been praying for wisdom on what to do next.  

I will be honest with you on how things are shaking out.  Our current agency has given us the option to go with their Uganda program.  Typically, the children that are available are an older age than we were originally hoping to find.  However, they may have a child for us.  I cannot give you details.  Besides, there is a lot of work to do in order to get to the point where we could adopt this certain child.  But we have told them that we are open to the possibility.

In addition, we are considering joining another agency to pursue a concurrent adoption from the Democratic Republic of Congo.  This program may work out well for our family.  We will see where it leads us, as we are just beginning to be open to new possibilities.

So, this means that our lives are about to change a bit.  

-Concurrent adoptions means that we may need more finances than we expected (on top of the fact that we may have lost all the money that we put into our old agency).

-We need a LOT of prayer for this journey.

-I haven't mentioned it yet, but Mark will also be heading off on an "all-expense paid vacation to the middle east" during this time as well, which may complicate things.

-We will have to start over with some of the paperwork.

But as crazy as our lives are going to be in 2011, God is in it!  He is working something that we can't understand.  And it is really amazing that He has even given me the strength and hope to write this blog and to continue on this process after our devastating loss.  I am not confident that I won't cry tomorrow, or even for the next whole week.  But what else can I do but move ahead in God's grace?

So our Bad News was really bad, but my perspective is one that must change to the fact that it was News That Was Ordained By God for us.  It was His way of telling us that He had a different plan for us.  It was His way of moving us onto His path, in His perfect timing.

Not my will, but Your will be done, Lord!