What a crazy summer it has been

Dear Friends and Family and Random Blog Readers,

I apologize for being so absent!  I know, it's been a long time since I posted!  A lot has happened in the past few months.

How can I sum this up?  As I said before... Adoption is a Roller Coaster!

OK, a little background.  Earlier this summer, we started hearing about problems with our agency.  Serious problems.  Yeah, the wait was taking FOREVER... yeah, people are bound to complain about this or that... but the things we started hearing were unbelievable!  Soon enough, the agency admitted there were problems.

What kind of problems are serious enough to cause so much concern?

Well, the in-country staff seem to no longer have the best interest of the children in mind.  Unethical practices surfaced.  There were cases of embezzling money, so less money would go to the care of the children.  Faking documents.  Lying about ages, the existence of siblings, and lying to the children about what adoption really meant.  Kidnapping children.  Yeah... let's just say that the coordinator is now in jail.  

  

Disclaimer: I have not personally verified all information.  I can only trust the things that I have been hearing from other adoptive parents, combined with responses I have personally gotten from the agency.  Someone else in the program may have a completely different experience.

OK, so you have to understand that there are no guarantees that things will go 100% smooth, and 100% ethical in international adoption, especially with new programs in Africa.  

The fact is, corruption does exist in the DRC.

Good agencies are trying their best to insure they conduct ethical practices as much as possible.  Checks need to be in place to make sure everyone is acting honestly.  And sadly, our agency wasn't doing much checking.  I don't want to mention what happens as a result of this. 

If you are involved in international adoption, please ask your agency what they are doing to ensure their program is ethical.  How many times per year do the staff travel to the country to make sure things are happening correctly?

Other red flags... Can they give you a break-down of where the fees are going?  Can they prove their orphan support expenses?  Do they have receipts?

These are answers that we were not getting from our agency.  Now, recently, the agency has been making some changes to the program that seem to be helping.  I sure hope they can turn things around.  However, concerns still exist, therefore... 

We have decided to put our DRC adoption ON HOLD.  We cannot move forward with this agency at this point.

Yes, we know, that this complicates things.  We know that our home study is set to expire, as well as our immigration approval.  If we are not comfortable moving forward, then we will gladly risk the money and headache to re-do these things at a later time, so that we do not violate our consciences.  We DO NOT want to be involved in anything illegal or unethical!

OK, so what's next for us?

First of all we need to close on the house we are trying to buy now that we have moved to California.

Next, we are looking into the possibility of pursuing domestic adoption.  This means we are matched with woman in the United States who is about to give birth and is looking to place her child for adoption.  We would be able to bring a newborn baby home from the hospital, and there is the potential that the program will move a lot quicker than our current DRC program.  We are excited about this possibility.  We know there are many babies who need homes (especially African-American babies) and we are open to accepting and loving a little one into our family.

We are still working on finding the right agency to help us pursue this possibility.  That brings us to the paperwork.

Paperwork!

Already as it stands, we are needing to update our Home Study.  We have moved countries, moved homes, and it's been about a year since it was completed.  It is a good time to refocus and decide what we want to update.  We are looking for a Home Study agency who will helps us write a domestic home study as well as have the capability to write an international home study.

What about Africa?

We still hold Africa in our hearts.  We are not saying no to adopting from Africa, but we might be saying not now.

Strange Update: earlier this summer we got an email from our Uganda agency out of the blue.  

We were told that our Sweet Pea's mother had returned to the baby home with her daughter and was wanting to place her for adoption now.  WHAT!?  We thought that chapter was closed!  The agency was traveling to Uganda in July and would find out if this is a possibility again.

I have to say, my heart skipped a beat!  I love that little girl and want so badly to care for her if she needs a mamma.  But I am now cautious, knowing that until paperwork is completely ready, there is no guarantee that it will go through.  

I just heard from the agency today.  Baby girl is not ready to be adopted, and it would be a very difficult process to complete.  It is not worth the risk, and we are sad to see this is the case.

However... while in Uganda, the agency found another baby who is a possibility for our family!  Talk about the roller coaster!  Up, down, up down!  They still have to collect more information on the situation, and find out if it will go through easily.  We didn't expect to be adopting from Uganda again!  And we are still not sure we will.  Possibilities are one thing, but completed paperwork is another.

So, can we ask for your prayers?  We need wisdom to make the right the decisions.  I just read on another blog today... God is Always, Always, ALWAYS on time!  So I have to trust that the reason it has taken us almost three years to this point is because God is working to place the child or children that are meant to be a part of our family at JUST THE RIGHT TIME!

Honestly, at times, I am completely at wit's end.  I am ready to give up.  This process is too painful.  This process is too long.  I cannot handle any more.  How do I keep faith in the middle of all of this?  I guess, it takes just clinging to God in full dependence on Him.  Trusting, that He has a plan for us.  Following what we believe to be His will.  We have an adversary that wants us to give up and give in.  I do not want him to win. 

I am thankful that Christ has overcome!