A Peek Inside

I don't normally do this, but I thought maybe it would be interesting for you to read a recent journal entry of mine.  Maybe it will be an encouragement, maybe it will just solidify just how sinful I am, or maybe it will at least inform you on what it's like to be me in this stage of waiting right now.  This journal entry can never be used if I am not willing to be vulnerable with you guys, so here I will be.  

Maybe you are in the waiting stage too?  And maybe you feel the same. 

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Dec. 14th

I have been so worried lately and so focused on getting a court date.  I guess you can say it has consumed the last two weeks of my thought life.  

Yikes!  Where my treasure is there my heart will be also.  I may have been treasuring a court date or treasuring Baby Boy more than treasuring God!  

I want my thoughts to be consumed with God, not a court date.  By focusing on the wrong thing I forget the truth.  God reminded me today that Baby Boy belongs to Him.  Baby Boy is His, He created him, He watches over him, He plans his life.  

Maybe I've been a little confused into thinking that I plan Baby Boy's life, that his future depends on me.  In fact, when my prayers for a court date are met with silence, I feel that I may be doing something wrong.  Maybe I'm not praying enough?  Maybe I am not praying fervently?  Maybe I need to pray more expectantly?  Maybe I'm not being faithful enough with my life?  Wow, I am amazed at how I feel like I would have that much power over how God acts!  And if I am honest, I am trying to manipulate the situation.  "OK, so if I pray really hard, and if I give God a specific date that I want to hear back, then He'll answer and listen to my prayer." Or, "Maybe if I journal about prayer, then when I am done, I'll find an email with the court date."  Or, "I just need to say, 'Lord, I give up.  It's in Your hands,' and that's when He'll come through."

I can't believe I am such a manipulator-- or maybe I CAN believe it!  I guess I realized that I am not satisfied with the way God is doing things.  I am not truly worshipping Him.  Maybe I don't believe that God has my best in mind, nor that He has Baby Boy's best in mind.  I think, "This is obvious because He wouldn't be keeping us apart and leaving Baby boy in an orphanage if He did have our best in mind"

Do I not believe that God is GOOD?  He is.  That is the Truth.  

By our baby being where he is now, and me being here, it doesn't mean that God is not good, or that He is being mean, or that He is too ignorant to know what is going on.  The Truth, the reality, is that God is good.  God is working what is best for Baby Boy.  He is working what is best for me.  He is in control.  Nothing is stopping Him from bringing Baby Boy and I together.  Nothing and No One can stand against Him.  (He parted the Red Sea after all!)  

If God wants us in Uganda, He would have us there now.  The fact that we are not, means that He has a purpose for us being here and our son being there.

I can remember that Baby Boy belongs to God, and I can trust God... I can trust that God is working for our son's good.  He is not letting him suffer any more than is necessary for God to get all the glory, and for God's purposes of growth in Baby Boy's life.  He knows our little one, inside and out.  He created him.  He knows what his future is like... the kinds of struggles he'll have, the lessons he will learn.

Why is God leaving Baby Boy in an orphanage as long as He is?  Because God is not done working on our baby's heart.  Because He has a purpose for every minute he is there.

Why is God letting me struggle so long without a child, or specifically, without Baby Boy?  Because God has a specific purpose for every minute I am here.  

If I truly believe that God is in control and that He can make things happen at any time, then there is no need to worry about a court date, or the courts closing for the holidays.  We are traveling to Uganda when God says we are traveling to Uganda... when He deems the timing to be perfect.  Not before.  Not after.  Not earlier.  Not later.  Baby Boy will be united with his family when God's perfect time comes.  Not before.  Not after.  Not earlier.  Not later.  God knows when it is best for both of us.

I am human, limited, and I don't know.  

Lord, let me trust you!  Let me be OK with waiting however long it takes to be united with my son.  Lord, if it is not soon, even if it is not within several months, You are STILL GOOD!  You are Still Trustworthy.  May You satisfy me, not court dates or Baby Boy.  Help me to understand the purpose you have for me for every second that I wait.  Help me to believe the truth that you are in control.  Let me worship You alone and be satisfied with you only.

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Anybody ever been there?  Anybody ever been waiting on something for so long and wonder why your prayers are being answered with silence?  

God is Good.  He has a purpose for you in the waiting time.  It's through our perseverance in trials that we grow stronger.  


Tiny Update:
-We have been assigned a judge that will see our case.  That is good news.  
-We may not hear of a court date until the new year because the judges take a break for the holidays and go to a national conference in the beginning of January (But God is still Good!).  
-Today we got re-fingerprinted for our immigration application to bring Baby Boy home.  Our fingerprints were expiring because it had been so long since we first filed.  We had a smooth drive down to the nearest USCIS office (1 hour+ away), and we got in and out very quickly.  We had an appointment for Christmas Eve, but took our letters with us and asked to be processed right away, and they didn't seem to have a problem with it at all!  Answer to prayer!

Pray:
-Please keep praying for us and Baby Boy!
-Pray for our patience and endurance during this time.
-Pray for our marriage to be strengthened and supportive
-Pray for Baby Boy to stay healthy and get as much of the love and care he can.

Thank you for your prayers!

Some neat videos about Uganda

This video is about the chess sensation Phiona who is from Kampala, Uganda.  Her amazing life story is going to be made into a Disney movie!!

This video is about a project to go to Uganda and record the music of several orphaned and homeless children on the streets of Kampala.  They are raising funds to make the album.

Waiting on Pins and Needles

Waiting... oh, I don't like waiting.  But that is a big part of the adoption process!

Most of the time it is a "hurry-up and wait," but right now we just have to... wait.

There is the rush to do tons of paperwork... and then waiting on it to arrive there by mail.

The rush to submit applications... and then waiting for a response.

We rushed, rushed, rushed to get our Home Study done, and dossier complete (which we did in really good time!), and now we are waiting for that elusive court date......

*Please pray we hear something soon!  Pray that the Lord goes before us, and that we are able to get a court date as soon as possible.* 

Our son is waiting!  We heard he had measles a couple of weeks ago, but he seems to be better now.  This breaks my heart, because I can't be there to help him feel better.  He doesn't have a mom who will give him medicine, snuggle with him, read him stories and stay with him until he feels better.  An orphanage is no place for a child to grow up!  He needs his parents, and we long to be there for him soon.

So, this court date that we are waiting on is SO HUGE!  It not only means when we will be petitioning to be Baby Boy's parents, it also means when we will be MEETING OUR SON!  It means when we will be traveling to UGANDA!  It means when we will finally be able to share his NAME and PHOTOS!  It means the beginning of a whole NEW ADVENTURE!  Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!! :-D  We are so excited.

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In the waiting... we have been working a little more on the nursery.  I still want to hang a few things before I show pictures of the final project.

We found a good deal on a glider on Craigslist!  We had to borrow a friend's SUV late at night to go pick it up, but now we have a sweet place to rock our son to sleep.

I have the rocker downstairs right now, but may move it up to the nursery when it gets closer.

I also attended a class on the base called "Bundles for Babies."  I have been waiting to attend this class for a long time!  But I was never in the spot where I could say I was truly expecting.  (There were so many unknowns before).  But now I can say that I truly AM expecting... Baby Boy is coming soon.  So I went to the class (filled with pregnant women) and learned a little bit about the resources available to soon-to-be parents.  Not only did we get free juice and cookies while we were there, but we also got a free bundle of goodies courtesy of the Air Force Aid Society!  Working with Gerber, they provided all these great starter items, and someone had hand-knitted a bunch of blankets too!

Look at all that free stuff!

I am so thankful to have these few things.  It gave me something to put in Baby Boy's dresser, and helps me feel like we are somewhat prepared for him (say if we have to go earlier than we expect, yikes!) except for the fact that we don't have a single diaper in this house.  Things really are coming together.  The reality of bringing him home is so overwhelming at times- overwhelming with JOY!

(Looking forward to meeting you soon, Sweet Boy!)

Preparing for the Little One

      We are getting closer to getting a court date in Uganda.  After getting copies of our home study to our agency, they are hopefully able to mail off our dossier to Uganda today!  We're hoping that we will hear about a court date by next week.

Now it is out of our hands... so what are we doing with our hands now?  Painting!

We painted Baby Boy's room,

from a dark blue....

To a "creamy cilantro" green.

(painting tape still on)

We also started working on putting together the crib.

It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

Crib is about ready and up!

(You'll get to see more when we finish it)

The dresser we have to assemble is going to be another story!  (it has a lot of parts!)

(The walls look not quite so green during the day time)

PRAYER

*Please continue to pray for our tiny peanut!
-For his health and his growth
-For his protection
-For him to be loved and cared for
-For him to have hope as he waits for his mom and dad
-For his heart to be open to us when we meet him

*Please pray for us!
-Please pray that we get a court date soon
-Pray for all the travel arrangements that need to happen before we leave
-Pray for all the medical arrangements we need to make (figuring out how to get him on our medical plan and enrolled in the defense system, when we get home)
-Pray for our hearts to be ready and prepared to love him unconditionally

Thank you for your prayers!

Had to share...

Cute photo of Baby Boy holding pictures of us!

Update Time....

     Well, we've been moving along on our paperwork!  With everything turned in that we could possibly turn in, we've heard that our Home Study is completed and approved.  Now we are waiting on it to be finalized and sent out!  Yeah!!

     The Home Study (which we had to re-do) is the really important piece of the puzzle for us to get a court date in Uganda.  We schedule a time to go before the judge and tell him that we want to take care of our little Baby Boy.

     Once we find out the court date, that will determine when we need to buy our plane tickets to be on our way to Uganda.  Unfortunately the Ugandan courts close early for the holidays, so we will not be able to get a court date this year.  We know we will have to wait until 2013, but our hope would be to get a court date as soon as they open back up again. *Please Pray for God to work a miracle to get us scheduled soon*

     We know we will be spending this Christmas without our son in our arms, but we are looking forward to next Christmas with hopefully our little one smiling right along with us in our Christmas photos!

(Name changed to Baby for privacy purposes)

     Baby Boy is doing well.  We've gotten a few updates saying that he seems to be in good health.  He is smiling, rolling over, grasping objects, and talking baby talk!  We are sad to be missing these important "first's."  But we know we will have several more "first's" with him once he comes home.

     Our little one (and he IS a tiny one) has been given a birthdate, and we are looking forward to seeing what God's purposes are in allowing him to be given this special date.  We mourn the loss of not ever knowing his true birthdate, but GOD knows!  He knows the exact day, He knows the exact time, He knows the exactly place.  It's wonderful to have the realization that however much we care for our son, God cares for him MORE.  God has a purpose and plan for his life that we can't even imagine.  We are so privileged to be his parents and have the opportunity to raise him and see where God is going to take him!

     As our time to meet our son draws near, it seems to become more and more real.  We hold many reservations still, because we know that anything can happen (we've been through it before), and Baby Boy may not be in God's plan for us.  But to see us SO much closer than we have been before makes it all seem like this will really happen!

     The other day I bought paint to paint his room a light green shade.  I will be rocking him to sleep in a "creamy cilantro" room.  We still need to paint it, and we will update you on photos as his room will go from dark "Dallas Cowboys Blue" to his new and more calming color.

(The room is not much right now, but hopefully with a little work it will look more like a nursery)

     I also just bought him his first pair of shoes!  They were on sale and cute.  We're not sure if they will fit him or not, but just having them gives a me a little dose of hope!

     We have also been very blessed with the wonderful support from all of our new friends here in California.  It is great to hear how excited they are for our adoption, and it definitely rubs off on us.  There are even plans for a baby shower!  Having such wonderful friends who we've known for such a short amount of time would not be possible apart from the common bond we have of our faith in Christ.  He truly does draw us together as family!

     As we get ready to celebrate Thanksgiving next week, I want to be thankful for all God has brought us through to this point.  Our adoption journey has not been easy nor smooth, but it has been a growing experience for us.  We have learned so much perseverance through trials, patience, and God's faithfulness to us!  God truly deserves our Thanks!

The journey to our little one in pictures

We've had an amazing time preparing for our little one!

We had so much fun telling our family about him:

They are going to kill me for posting this!  Little did they know that I was secretly capturing them while we video chatted and told them about our referral:

(Please don't hate me, family!)

Telling our friends about him:

(They are all looking at pictures of him)

Doing TONS of paperwork:

(Sent off huge stack of it today!)

Getting fingerprinted:

And even celebrating his 6-month birthday:

(Name and photo has been blocked to protect privacy)

We also got to send him a care package!!

Does anything look familiar in that picture?  Remember this post about Mr. Elephant?

That was over two years ago.  We have saved him all this time, waiting to be delivered to our little one.  He slept with us several nights, and has plenty "scent" on him now!

It brings my heart joy and nervous excitement to think that This IS It!  Mr. Elephant has left our care and is now in the care of our little one!!  (Melting heart)

God has blessed us so much!  We got our list of required paperwork last Saturday.  We set ourselves a goal of one week.  And today, just short of one week, I mailed off a majority of the paperwork!  WooHoo!  That's crazy fast! (In comparison, when we were brand new and starting this process, the first time we gathered the paperwork took Four Months).

We still have a few more things to accomplish and collect, but we are on our way to bringing little Baby Boy home!

Big News.....

We have a referral!!!

Yes, it is a big surprise to us!

We had put everything on hold, we were working hard on getting moved in to our new house, and we weren't expecting anything big to happen anytime soon.

Remember how I said last time that God is ALWAYS ON TIME?  He is!!

Here is what happened a couple of weeks ago:

(From my journal entry on Sept. 18th)

We had exciting news yesterday!  There was plenty planned for the day... our household goods were arriving from overseas.  We were so busy unpacking that I didn't realize I had missed a call from our agency.

Later in the evening, after the movers were gone, I was getting ready to go to a meeting when I got...THE CALL.

It was totally out of the blue, and not who I expected to call.  Our Uganda agency director, who we had left things open with when we lost our first referral at the beginning of this year, said she had information on the little boy from Uganda.

OK--switch gears--let me get Mark on the phone too!

We listened as our director told us his name....(We'll call him Baby Boy for now).  I love it.  She said they had completed the investigation, and he was indeed available for adoption.  She also said they want to place him quickly.

Wow!  We like quick!  After all our time waiting... "quick" sounds pretty good right now!  She said that he is sick right now with a cough, and is not in a place where he can get proper medical care.  It is a very poor part of Kampala.  As she described his symptoms, it didn't sound like anything too serious.
...

Our agency director told us she would send us pictures and more info to look at, and we could get back to her.  I had to leave for my meeting, so I told Mark he was NOT allowed to look at anything while I was gone.  

On the drive there I went back and forth on wanting to think about everything that was about to happen, but at the same time not wanting to think about it because I didn't want to arrive at the meeting in a ball of tears (plus I had mascara on).  I told myself, "Keep your emotions at bay, and think about things when you get home."  Needless to say, the meeting was difficult.

When I arrived home, we opened up the email.  What we saw was tiny Baby Boy, at three months old.  In some pictures, looking sick.  In others, more alive and alert.  There was even video!  We saw him have the cutest yawn. (Melt my heart!)

(I had to share!  Can't show you his face yet, though.)

Seeing his face for the first time, I can't help but still be a little cautious, because Mark and I have been through our fair share of heartbreak.  But there is something inside me that is saying...

HE IS OUR SON!

I am trying to get a grip on God's timing of this all.  We had just decided to put the DRC adoption on hold.  We were seriously considering starting the domestic adoption process.  I researched many agencies, but we had been prevented from taking any steps until we moved into our house.  We waiting to move forward until we had the house things taken care of, until our shipment arrived.  We didn't want to schedule a home study visit when our home had nothing in it!

So the day arrives to get our things--yesterday.  I was actually ready to submit some applications just yesterday, as soon as we received our things.

God placed that phone call JUST IN TIME.

There couldn't have been a more perfect time to hear about Baby Boy.  Too early, and we wouldn't have our stuff and wouldn't be ready to make any decisions.  Too late, and we would have already applied elsewhere and probably already sent in some fees.  

I have no idea of what the timing of Baby Boy's adoption will look like, but it's perfect timing that our immigration paperwork is still good for Uganda!  Really, all we need to re-work is our home study and dossier.

Baby Boy home by Christmas?.... That would be a miracle!

(OK, I had a little fun with this one!)

Things that went through my head: "I might be a mom in a couple of months!  Yikes!"  I thought about all the wonderful people who have prayed for us along the way and stood with us--"Oh, how excited they will be!"  I thought about all that needs to get done in the next couple of months.  And I thought about Baby Boy, waiting.

I felt peace when I prayed about adopting him.  I felt like, "How could we say no to him?  He needs a family.  He needs care.  We have a huge house and lots of love to give.  How can we ignore his needs?"  Mark said, "I can't think of ANY reason why we shouldn't adopt him!"  How can we know his situation and leave him like that?  Then how can we still claim that we are loving our "neighbor"?  Baby Boy is my "neighbor."  And I pray one day he will be my brother in Christ.

I thought about how this is not about us.  It's not about the Struska's gaining a new member of the household.  It's about God being glorified, and about meeting the needs of a little baby boy, that He has placed in our lives.  This is really what testifies to God... God takes us, a weird American couple, and brings us together with a little baby boy half-way across the world in Uganda, a baby boy that He has sovereignly been watching over!  

He binds strangers together.  He takes our weaknesses and shows His strength in us.  He enables us to love a child that we did not give birth to, who doesn't look like us, who comes from such a different culture.  This is how it is meant to be.  This is parenting.  Laying down my selfishness for the sake of loving another, my child.  I pray that I become less, and Christ becomes more in me!

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So that is how we found out about our little surprise.  Baby Boy is now about 6 months old.  Our agency was in Uganda last week and they are happy to report that he is all better now.  He is no longer sick and looks healthy.  We hope to be receiving updated photos of him in the next couple of weeks.

The amazing thing is that God has given us so much grace in one the most tedious processes... paperwork!  We have TONS of paperwork to do, but things are moving along quickly and easily.  I don't want to say that too soon, because I know we will hit a big snag, like, tomorrow!  But for all the extra time it took to do paperwork while living overseas, I feel like this process is so much different.

When I think about all the obstacles we had trying to adopt while living overseas, somehow it seems to make sense now, knowing that we just had to wait until our Baby Boy was born and ready for us!

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I know this post is very long, so I will leave you will some prayer points:
    
    -Pray for Baby Boy.  Pray for his health, for his safety, for his heart to be ready to love us and accept us.
    
    -Pray for us.  Pray that our hearts would be ready to love and accept him.
    
    -Pray for our paperwork to move quickly.
    
    -Pray for our marriage, that we would have love a patience with each other as we have very stressful days.
    
    -Pray for our home study agency and our adoption agency that they would make wise decisions, efficient decisions, and be free from corruption or compromise.
    
    -Pray for the Ugandan officials who will be judging our case, that we would have a judge who is favorable towards international adoption.

Thank you all so much for  your prayer and support!!!

What a crazy summer it has been

Dear Friends and Family and Random Blog Readers,

I apologize for being so absent!  I know, it's been a long time since I posted!  A lot has happened in the past few months.

How can I sum this up?  As I said before... Adoption is a Roller Coaster!

OK, a little background.  Earlier this summer, we started hearing about problems with our agency.  Serious problems.  Yeah, the wait was taking FOREVER... yeah, people are bound to complain about this or that... but the things we started hearing were unbelievable!  Soon enough, the agency admitted there were problems.

What kind of problems are serious enough to cause so much concern?

Well, the in-country staff seem to no longer have the best interest of the children in mind.  Unethical practices surfaced.  There were cases of embezzling money, so less money would go to the care of the children.  Faking documents.  Lying about ages, the existence of siblings, and lying to the children about what adoption really meant.  Kidnapping children.  Yeah... let's just say that the coordinator is now in jail.  

  

Disclaimer: I have not personally verified all information.  I can only trust the things that I have been hearing from other adoptive parents, combined with responses I have personally gotten from the agency.  Someone else in the program may have a completely different experience.

OK, so you have to understand that there are no guarantees that things will go 100% smooth, and 100% ethical in international adoption, especially with new programs in Africa.  

The fact is, corruption does exist in the DRC.

Good agencies are trying their best to insure they conduct ethical practices as much as possible.  Checks need to be in place to make sure everyone is acting honestly.  And sadly, our agency wasn't doing much checking.  I don't want to mention what happens as a result of this. 

If you are involved in international adoption, please ask your agency what they are doing to ensure their program is ethical.  How many times per year do the staff travel to the country to make sure things are happening correctly?

Other red flags... Can they give you a break-down of where the fees are going?  Can they prove their orphan support expenses?  Do they have receipts?

These are answers that we were not getting from our agency.  Now, recently, the agency has been making some changes to the program that seem to be helping.  I sure hope they can turn things around.  However, concerns still exist, therefore... 

We have decided to put our DRC adoption ON HOLD.  We cannot move forward with this agency at this point.

Yes, we know, that this complicates things.  We know that our home study is set to expire, as well as our immigration approval.  If we are not comfortable moving forward, then we will gladly risk the money and headache to re-do these things at a later time, so that we do not violate our consciences.  We DO NOT want to be involved in anything illegal or unethical!

OK, so what's next for us?

First of all we need to close on the house we are trying to buy now that we have moved to California.

Next, we are looking into the possibility of pursuing domestic adoption.  This means we are matched with woman in the United States who is about to give birth and is looking to place her child for adoption.  We would be able to bring a newborn baby home from the hospital, and there is the potential that the program will move a lot quicker than our current DRC program.  We are excited about this possibility.  We know there are many babies who need homes (especially African-American babies) and we are open to accepting and loving a little one into our family.

We are still working on finding the right agency to help us pursue this possibility.  That brings us to the paperwork.

Paperwork!

Already as it stands, we are needing to update our Home Study.  We have moved countries, moved homes, and it's been about a year since it was completed.  It is a good time to refocus and decide what we want to update.  We are looking for a Home Study agency who will helps us write a domestic home study as well as have the capability to write an international home study.

What about Africa?

We still hold Africa in our hearts.  We are not saying no to adopting from Africa, but we might be saying not now.

Strange Update: earlier this summer we got an email from our Uganda agency out of the blue.  

We were told that our Sweet Pea's mother had returned to the baby home with her daughter and was wanting to place her for adoption now.  WHAT!?  We thought that chapter was closed!  The agency was traveling to Uganda in July and would find out if this is a possibility again.

I have to say, my heart skipped a beat!  I love that little girl and want so badly to care for her if she needs a mamma.  But I am now cautious, knowing that until paperwork is completely ready, there is no guarantee that it will go through.  

I just heard from the agency today.  Baby girl is not ready to be adopted, and it would be a very difficult process to complete.  It is not worth the risk, and we are sad to see this is the case.

However... while in Uganda, the agency found another baby who is a possibility for our family!  Talk about the roller coaster!  Up, down, up down!  They still have to collect more information on the situation, and find out if it will go through easily.  We didn't expect to be adopting from Uganda again!  And we are still not sure we will.  Possibilities are one thing, but completed paperwork is another.

So, can we ask for your prayers?  We need wisdom to make the right the decisions.  I just read on another blog today... God is Always, Always, ALWAYS on time!  So I have to trust that the reason it has taken us almost three years to this point is because God is working to place the child or children that are meant to be a part of our family at JUST THE RIGHT TIME!

Honestly, at times, I am completely at wit's end.  I am ready to give up.  This process is too painful.  This process is too long.  I cannot handle any more.  How do I keep faith in the middle of all of this?  I guess, it takes just clinging to God in full dependence on Him.  Trusting, that He has a plan for us.  Following what we believe to be His will.  We have an adversary that wants us to give up and give in.  I do not want him to win. 

I am thankful that Christ has overcome!

Created For Care Retreat report

I am a little behind on posting about my amazing adoption retreat, Created For Care.  We've been busy getting settled into our new temporary home for the next two months.  But I need to share finally about this wonderful experience!

This was one of the most amazing retreats I have EVER been on!  I can't even really put into words how over 400 women, almost all strangers to each other, can end up becoming best friends over one weekend!  

There was something unique about this retreat.  Every woman was different, but we all shared the same heart for God and for orphans.  It immediately put us all on common ground.  It was not odd to walk up to a new person during the weekend, introduce yourself, and then start talking about where you are adopting from and which agency you are using.  Not only that, within a matter or minutes, you might even be sharing some of the deepest struggles you have with this new friend, feeling relieved in a sense that there is finally someone who "gets it."  The thing is... there were 400 other women there who "got it"!  

There is no need to explain what an I-600A is or a I-171H, or define "dossier" or "USCIS."  They ALL knew!  We could just talk freely about the processes we were going through... some in the waiting phase, some in learning how to attach to their newly welcomed child.  There were women there adopting from all over... Ethiopia, The DRC, China, Korea, Uganda, Ukraine, Russia, Colombia, and many from even the USA.  Between the 400+ of us, we represented homes for around 1,100 children!  That is amazing!

I made some great friends, from the people I met on Facebook and ended up rooming with,

(Missing Ellen in this pic!)

to people I just sat at the table with for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  

I realized that I am among several families who have also been through difficult losses of referrals or countries closing down.  I am NOT ALONE.  And that is one thing that made this retreat so special.  With the overwhelming support from others, you no longer feel alone.

As I have heard several people mention already, this retreat taught us a lot about raising our children, but even more so, taught us so much about God's love for us.  We met with God in very real ways, we worshiped Him, with listened to Him, we submitted to Him.  I believe a part of it began with the setting.

The retreat was at the beautiful Lake Lanier Resort in northern Georgia.  This is truly an oasis!  

It was a lush, green resort, surrounded by forest and a beautiful lake.  

The lodging was built as a cozy and comfortable forest lodge.  

The view out our balcony was so relaxing and peaceful.

Next I have to say that I think this was the MOST well-put-together retreat I have EVER been to!  The Created For Care team was amazing!  Throughout the whole weekend there were tables set up to sell items supporting and representing many adoption and orphan-care organizations.  

Cute t-shirts, magazine-bead necklaces from Africa, baby blankets, cook books, Ethiopian coffee, you name it!  One of the best parts was the endless supply of food!  We had snacks available during the whole conference.  There were these huge bins with around 12 different kinds of candy that you could just grab as you walk by.  There was fruit, crackers, cheese, muffins, brownies, cookies, etc.  There were coolers too where you could go by and grab as many drinks as you wanted, water or sodas or juice, etc.  The meals were excellent!  We had a taco bar the first night with all the toppings you would want!  The next night we had grilled salmon, grilled chicken, green beans, mixed rice, rolls, salad, etc.  We even had a popcorn and movie night/pajama party!  

(C4C team doing a rendition of Ice Ice Baby!)

In addition to the food, our sessions were well-planned out.  The main sessions included excellent speakers and a very blessed and God-exalting worship band.  How they put all of this together... I don't know!  But everything was done in a way to really bless all the women who attended.  And I indeed felt blessed!

The sessions were great.  We learned about attachment, about our identity in Christ, reclaiming our child's story, parenting transracial children, calling forth the treasure in our children, and God's message for us as women.  I have to say that from the first session Friday night, probably when we first worshiped together in song with everyone, the tears started flowing and didn't stop until the weekend was over and we were driving away!  I don't think a single person walked away with dry eyes!

The Lord was teaching me personally several things over the weekend, but maybe that can wait until another post.  If I ever get a chance to go to another one of the Created For Care retreats, I will definitely be there!