And the waiting continues...

Thank you all for your prayers.  Keep praying!  We talked to our agency last night and they have no news about the paperwork in Burundi.  Right now the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Burundi is evaluating our agency's paperwork, and they haven't gotten back to the agency contact in Burundi.  Because it is the holidays it makes things a little more difficult.  So we probably won't hear anything until after the holidays. This is disappointing, but I am not freaking out.

 In a way, I have a break right now to think about other things... and to focus on the real meaning of Christmas.  Adoption has a way of taking over your thoughts. So, knowing that we will have to wait to do anything right now, it will be a welcome break.  We can lay everything in the hands of the Father.

We are praying for our friends right now who are also dealing with foreign governments... they are adopting from Ethiopia, and are now scrambling to renew some of their paperwork that Ethiopia says is too old.

We will let you know when we have any news.  Until then, Merry Christmas!!!

Some Good News?

I have no information right now about the possible delays, but I do have a bit of good news.  I got a phone call from the USCIS (US Citizen and Immigration Service) the other day.  They said that they have our I-800A application mostly approved, but they had a problem reading Mark's fingerprints.  So, they want us to submit another copy of Mark's fingerprints.  They said that as soon as they receive them, it will only take a day or two to process, and then they can send our approval to us.  So Mark rushed over to get his fingerprints taken again on Friday afternoon, and we mailed them out yesterday.

Yes, it is a delay, but at least I know where our file stands right now.  It is exciting at the same time because they said that we are APPROVED!  We are just waiting on the official paperwork to make its way back to us.  I had been waiting anxiously for it to come in the mail, but now I feel I can relax a little.  There is still a good possibility that we may receive it back by the end of the year.

As far as our progress in getting our required psychological evaluation, we have been getting the run-around.  Multiple people have been called, and so far we haven't found anyone to do it for us yet.  I know it is being delayed for a reason, so we just have to keep at it until we can get it done.  Who knows?  Maybe it's part of our evaluation... let's see how crazy we can make them before they actually come in for an appointment! ;-)

Thank you all so much for praying.  We feel your prayers.  In my uneasiness, I still feel a supernatural peace about everything.  Keep praying, and hopefully we will hear something soon from our agency!

Possible Delays!

I was hesitant to post this information, but after thinking about it, I figured that it would be helpful to have many of you praying for the situation.

I talked to our agency a few nights ago, and they told us that they are concerned about the possibility of major delays in the adoption process from Burundi.  They think they are being told that the agency's paperwork (and permission to process adoptions in Burundi) is too "old."  Burundi is realizing that they are going to have many people requesting adoptions now, and they need to really think through how they are going to process them all, and what documents they are going to require.  This may mean that they will require our agency to resubmit their paperwork.  And it may also mean that our paperwork requirements may change.  (Hopefully they will relax some of the requirements!  But who knows?)  This is part of package of choosing to be in a "pioneer" program.  Not everything has been worked out yet.

If our agency has to resubmit paperwork, if could take another 6+ months before they are ready for us to continue our process, and submit our dossier.  Or... it could take only a month, and we could just continue on.

Where are we in the process now?  We are close to having all our documents gathered for our dossier.  We do, however, still have to go through the process of authenticating all our documents (getting them stamped with official-looking seals) before all of it can be sent over to Burundi.  We also need to have a child chosen before we send our documents in.  This was supposed to happen soon, and we were praying for it to happen by the end of this month.

Now, it may be a while.  In fact, there are two children in Burundi in the agency's care right now that must be adopted first before they can take on care of more children.  We are not sure that we are ready to parent either of these two "older" children.  What that seems to mean for us, is that someone else in the Burundi program, possibly someone who entered the program after us, will be the first ones to go to Burundi to pick up the first two children.  We must wait until they go through the process and get back before we can even start up our process again, and find a younger child ready to be adopted.

When will that be?  We don't know.  In fact these are mostly conclusions based on what our agency has told us.  What we do know is that our agency told us to wait another week or two until they find out more information.  They will be getting back to us then to let us know what is happening.

What does that mean for YOU?  Please pray for us!  You have a week and half (at least) before we hear something again.

-You can pray for the whole process to work itself out according to God's will.
-You can pray for the Burundi government to move quickly through the decision process to be ready for adoptions to start happening.
-You can pray for a wise counselor in the government to help move things along, and who has a heart for orphans.
-You can pray for the mail to move quickly if our agency has to resubmit some paperwork.
-You can pray that a restructuring of Burundi's adoption process will make it easier for even more orphans to be adopted.
-You can pray for clear communication between the government and our agency's contact in Burundi.
-You can even pray for someone to be hired in the country to take on care of more orphans.
-You can pray for patience for us.
-You can pray for wisdom for us to know what to do, and if we need to change directions or start something new.

Will you join us in prayer?  This situation is all for a reason, and God's purpose in it is higher than we can imagine.  Where is God taking us on this journey?  I don't know.  But we know that we CAN TRUST HIM.

Thanks, and we will let you know as soon as we know something more.

Family: A Cultural Perspective

We recently attended a public seminar on differences in culture.  One thing that was interesting during the seminar was the discussion of "family."

The speaker asked one attendee, "Lucy, how many people are in your family?"
Before she responds, I briefly thought about my answer... "Four, my mom, my dad, and my brother."
Then Lucy responds with a shocked look, like she finds it difficult to answer the question.  She says, with a  breath and a small laugh, "A lot."
My thoughts, "Well, maybe she has a big family like Mark, maybe 12 or 13.  That seems like 'A lot' to me."
Lucy then guesses, "... about 20."
My thoughts, shock, and then confusion.

What the speaker pointed out, and what I didn't consider, is that Lucy comes from a Latino background, and she views all her aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. as "FAMILY."

My thoughts, "Oh, yeah... well, when you put it that way.... Oops!  I guess I forgot to count my husband too!"

I automatically thought about who I considered my "nuclear" family growing up.  I forgot to think about who my family is now.  But to be honest, I might only add one more person, my husband.  But if I were to approach the question from Lucy's perspective (or Lucy's culture), I would have a lot bigger family... adding in all of my husband's family, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunt, grandma, etc.

Why is our my definition of family so narrow?  Who told me, when I was growing up or somewhere along the way, that FAMILY only consisted of those who are living in your house with you, and who you are blood-related to?

Interestingly enough, Americans tend to have this narrow view far more often than other cultures around the world.  And the more you move up the socio-economic ladder the more narrow your definition.  It seems to come with a sense of independence... I can handle things on my own... I have enough money and resources at this point that I don't need to rely on others (even on my family).

Whereas, in poorer countries, family is everything!  Family is who you rely on because you can't make it on your own.  You need each other.

Why must we lose our sense of interdependency as we succeed in America?  What bothers me more is, why didn't I think of those who I am not blood-related to as My Family?  If you had given me more time to think, I am sure I would come up with the "correct" answer, but it bothers me that my first thought was so narrow.

Why does it bother me?  Because I have a child that is about to join our family, and not through natural blood relation.  I want my child to feel in every way a part of our family.  I want to be a mother who feels like my child is in every way TRULY FAMILY.  And I want my relatives, blood-related or not, to view my child as TRULY FAMILY.

My child will not look like me nor my husband, but they will be ours.  They will share the same last name, share the same family interests, and possibly act, in some ways, just like us... their Mom and Dad.

So who defines "Family"?  The Americans?  The British?  The Burundians?  Who is the Creator of Family?   The One who created each and every one of us... Our Creator God.  In the beginning God brought together Adam and Eve in the first ever family.  The Bible shows us God choosing a people to be His people, beginning with a family of twelve (what I had considered a big family), and expanded to many many descendants.  And God did the unthinkable... He sent His Son, His FAMILY, to earth to show us Himself, and to go to the cross to die for the sins of mankind.  And having risen again, He accomplishes the most amazing task of making it possible for ALL of us to become a part of His family.

Who's family am I a part of?  I could say the one I grew up with.  I could say the one I married into.  But I wouldn't be as blessed as I am if I did not count my Heavenly Family.  I have been chosen, saved, redeemed, and brought into the Family of God.  He calls me His child.  I am not blood-related.  I am ADOPTED!  I am adopted as a TRUE daughter of my Heavenly Father.

May my definition of Family not be so narrow.  May I always look to Him for the definition of Family.  May my child see himself or herself as part of our earthly family, and also a part of the Family of God!

-----

Update: We have slowly received back most of our paperwork.  We are only waiting on our approval from the US government to come back, plus a delayed psychological evaluation to get done soon.  Our appointment to get it done on base proved ineffective, so now we are going through the referral process to get it done in town.  Hopefully we can get in an appointment sometime at the end of this week or next week.  The holiday schedule is upon us, and it would be nice to get some things done before everyone stops working for Christmas.  Thank you all for your prayers!

Cool Video

This is a neat video that I found on my friends' blog (thanks Dustin and Heidi!).  Orphan Sunday was just celebrated this month, and I think this is a great video to remind us of the focus of adoption.


Orphan Sunday 2010 from Matthew Wilson on Vimeo.

Thanks Dustin

Back to work

We are back from our much needed vacation!  After the relaxing break we were ready to start working hard again on the paperwork.  A few praises... when we got home one of our background checks was waiting for us in the mail.  Also, we got our notarized letters back from the doctor's office.  So, now we are still waiting on:

-One more background check,
-A Guardianship Statement.
-Our approval from the USCIS
-and our psychological evaluation which we are getting done soon.

Please pray these things will arrive soon.  We are looking forward to informing our agency that we are ready to receive information about our child.  This step will come soon, and we are praying for the end of the year. 

Meanwhile I am reading lots of information about adoption and learning all that I can.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving this week, and we will let you know updates as soon as we can!

Just a little update

Our paperwork is coming together.  We got one of our background checks back in the mail this week.  Yeah!  We have also finally got an appointment scheduled for our required "psychological evaluation," and it will be free.  We've had the first set of documents reviewed by our agency, and they look good!  So, we are taking a short break for a vacation, and hopefully when we return, more documents will be waiting for us.  Thanks for your prayers!

Baby Bedding and Updates

Things have been moving along.  I'll tell you about a little update, but first:

I thought this bedding set was really cute.  I like the jungle theme.  And I love the giraffes!

 I like the dark wood furniture too.

Plus, my favorite part about this set, is the rug!

 

And the set should work well in whatever house we have, even when we are renting and can't paint the walls.  (These things you have to think about when you move around as much as we do!)

Update: Ok, so now I was going to say that I talked to USCIS again and found out that our application was not suspended.  They said that people get those "your application was suspended due to insufficient payment" letters all the time.  So they said not to worry.  Our application hasn't been assigned a office person yet, but at least they said that the fingerprints have been sent on to be processed.  That is good news.

     I thought I would also provide another explanation about our adoption process, since it is hard to wrap your head around when you are not the one going through it. 

Please explain the process.  So, there are several steps involved in the adoption process.  Completing the home study was one of the first steps.  The home study declares that we are fit to be parents, and our home it safe.  This completed study is used and examined by multiple agencies.  For instance, we are in one of the next steps, applying for permission from the US citizen and Immigration office to bring a foreign person into the United States.  The USCIS looks at our home study when they process our application.  With their approval, we will be able to get a visa from the US embassy in Kenya to bring our child to the US.  You can't just enter the US with out a visa (otherwise you are illegal!). 
     Our next step is putting together a dossier.  The dossier also includes the home study paperwork.  The dossier is different because it is the final package that gets sent to the Burundian government.  The Burundian government has their own requirements (not necessarily the same as the US) for parents who want to adopt from their country.  So, yes we had to get background checks for our home study for every place we lived in the last five years.  And now, for the dossier, the Burundi government is requiring background checks for the last 5 years.  The home study (mainly because of the requirements for the Hague Treaty) also required child-abuse registry releases from every state we lived in since we were 18.  It is a long list!  Being in the military is not easy for this process!
      Okay, so next authentication is needed because we are going to be sending notarized documents to Burundi.  Now every state may have a different procedure on notaries, and certainly the Burundian government would have no idea if a notary is real or fake.  So, someone in the US government puts their stamp of approval on all the signatures, notaries and such to prove that they are truly in fact authentic.  This makes the Burundian government happy, to see big stamps of approval on things, so they wouldn't have to figure it all out.

Where are you in the process?  We are gathering documents for the dossier.  As we gather, they are being reviewed for accuracy from our agency.  Once gathering and reviewing is complete, we will be authenticating things.  We are hoping to have the gathering done, the authenticating started, and everything turned in to our agency by the end of the year.

What does this also mean?  I am excited to say that beginning the authentication process means that we will also be talking to our agency about finding us a child.  This is necessary because our dossier will be sent with a letter to adopt a certain child, who is named in the letter.  So... it is possible that we may have a face, a name, and information about our child by the end of the year!!  Woohoo!  Please be in prayer for this to happen quickly.  I am more than excited to get to see who he/she/or they are!

What have you been learning through this?  Many good lessons.  But one that is sticking with me right now is that God has given us such a privilege to adopt!  It's amazing to me that God would choose us, and count us worthy of the task to parent an adopted child from Burundi.  He is entrusting us with this sacred responsibility, and not everyone receives the blessing.  We are indeed blessed to be part of this process.  We are indeed blessed to be a home to a child who has no home.  We are indeed blessed to be a mother and father to a child who has no mother and father.  We are blessed to experience God's joy and goodness as He brings into our family the child that He has specifically prepared for us.  We are specifically prepared for our child, and they are specifically prepared for us.  God does the work.  I am so thankful that He has given us this privilege, and I am super excited to see what the future holds for our family!

Book Review

Here is a book that I just finished reading:

 Love in the Driest Season: a Family Memoir by Neely Tucker

    I actually found it in the library, and discovered that is was a really good book.  The author is a writer/reporter for the Washington Post newspaper, who spent many years in Africa covering stories in various countries there.  He was based in Zimbabwe, and he and his wife come across a baby in a local orphanage that changes their lives.  He writes about their pursuit of adopting this young girl at a time when it was generally understood that Americans don't adopt Zimbabwean children. 

    There are several reasons why I liked the book.  One was the fact that they were trying to adopt when there wasn't any precedent for adopting in place.  They had to "pave the way," be the first to push through the bureaucratic system to be able to adopt the child they grew to love.  The amount of work and hurdles they had amazed me, from people "accidentally" losing all their paperwork to having to get fingerprinted and background checked multiple times.

    I am in a similar situation.  We will be one of the first families to adopt from Burundi, at least under the Hague treaty.  There is no precedent.  There is no Burundi Adoption Support Group.  There is no message boards or chat forums for "parents of children adopted from Burundi."  There is no true guideline on how the adoption will go through in the country or how long it will take.  So, though I don't expect to face the same hurdles as the Tuckers did, I feel like: if they can push though it, with all their difficulties, and still make it out with a complete family... than we can too! 

    The other reason that I like the book is the eye-opening descriptions of what was going on in Africa.  Mr. Tucker was there to cover many stories including civil war in the Congo, genocide in Rwanda, the bombing of the US embassy in Kenya, and the horrific state of orphans and the AIDS crisis.  He described things that I hope never to see in my lifetime, yet I am shocked that they do exist.  It was a clear picture of what we need to be aware of in this world, but what so many people are not seeing or understanding.

    So, if you happen to run across this book in your library I would recommend it. (There are a few unwholesome words in it, though.  I try to just skip over them.)

Update and Snags

Sorry I have been absent lately, but we've been busy and ran into a few snags.  One of the most disappointing is that our application to US government for our I-800A was suspended due to "insufficient funds."  I just got the letter in the mail this week which included a bill saying we still owe $160 for the fingerprinting fees.  The frustrating part is that at the bottom of the same bill it says (which is what we were told) that US citizens that are living abroad are exempt from paying the fingerprinting fees.... And they sent this letter to our overseas address!

So, I immediately called somebody.  First, the USCIS's Military Help-Line.  They couldn't help me, so they told me to call the regular customer service with USCIS.  They couldn't help me either, so they told me to call the section in charge of the Hague adoptions.  (The Hague treaty, designed to prevent child-trafficking, was signed by Burundi and the US, so it requires extra regulations to follow, and more paperwork).   The Hague people told me that they didn't have our application.  She said that it was delivered to a "lock box" and then it gets transferred to their office, which could take up to 15 days!  Our letter says our application was received Oct. 4th.  So, I was told to wait and call back next week (though she really wanted me to call back at the end of the month), to see if they have received it.  In the meantime, it is suspended.

The same day I also got an email that one of our background checks is requiring us to pay more for some extra copies.  So I still have to get the money to them.

The good thing is that I got our doctor's physicals scheduled for next week with no problem.  But our required "psychological evaluation" is going to be harder to schedule than I thought.

So, running into delays is hard, but I have to remind myself that God has everything in His timing.  He knew from the beginning that someone would make a mistake and delay our application.  He could have prevented it.  But He has an exact time for when our application would go through.  And He also wants to teach us to rely on Him and trust Him.

But it doesn't hurt to pray for a speedy process from here on out!  We hope to have all our paperwork done by the end of the year.  Thanks for praying!

Honestly...

Honestly, lately I have not been motivated to get much work done on the adoption.  Rather than thinking about the child, I am thinking about all the endless amount of paperwork we have to do.  I get overwhelmed.  I know there is an orphan waiting for us to bring them home, and I am so eager to parent them, but it seems like there is the obstacle of paperwork in the way.

There are many things that God is teaching me through this, but here is one reminder I had yesterday: I need to be faithful with little first, before God will entrust me to be faithful with much.  Luke 16:10 says,

"One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much."

And Mathew 25:21 says,

^"His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.'"

For me, this means that I need to be faithful to get the paperwork done in a timely manner.  How can God see me as being faithful to parent a child when I am not faithful with this work?  How can I expect myself to work harder when a child comes, if I can't work hard now in the meantime?  I understand that not every parent feels like they are completely faithful and ready before a child comes into their lives, and that is where God's grace comes in.  He gives us grace to be faithful in spite of our weakness and failures.  Praise God for His grace!


And here is another verse, I Corinthians 10:31:

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

So, I can do endless amounts of paperwork "to the glory of God"?  Yes!  Everything we do should be done to the glory of God, including paperwork and parenting!  In the long periods of waiting for information about a child, even waiting can be done to the glory of God!


 So, I will "press on" (Phil 3:14) to complete our dossier.  In fact, God was gracious to me today, and I was able to get a bunch of forms filled out and letters written.  I pray that in the end of the getting all the paperwork done, God can say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much."  And even more so, I pray He says the same after my children have grown into, prayerfully, God-fearing adults.


What are you doing to the glory of God?  Would God say that you are faithful with the little things right now?


Just some thoughts to think about, and that are good for me to ask myself.

A Little Encouragement

I was recently encouraged by post of another family who is adopting.  They are adopting from Rwanda, which is just north of Burundi, and also has a similar make-up of people and history as Burundi.  Her post expresses how easy it is to despair and believe lies in the midst of waiting, during the adoption process.  So, want to share the encouraging thoughts with you.


MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2010

Crossing the Valley

On October 31, 2009, I stepped into our local FedEx office and handed the clerk five and a half months of eagerness, determination, and hope wrapped up in a two-inch-thick folder. Six weeks later, when my computer screen confirmed that folder’s arrival in Kigali, Rwanda, I wanted to climb up on the roof and scream to the world that the McLennans were finally DTR.

That was a mountaintop moment. “Gotcha Day” will be another. But in between these mountains lies a deep valley known as Waiting, and you can’t move from one peak to another without passing that way.

Waiting is a place of diverse terrain, sometimes dark and despairing, other times beautiful and serene. From a distance the valley appears calm, even stagnant. But all who travel there will tell you that Waiting is a battleground, and the enemy’s name is Deceit.

Deceit whispers many lies in the ears of travelers, some of which are cleverly disguised to sound like wisdom, hope, or noble conviction. The key to a successful journey is recognizing those lies for what they are, and listening for Truth’s response.

Following is a partial transcript of this traveler’s ongoing battle with Deceit in the Valley of Waiting:

1. “Harmless Distraction,” a.k.a. Wasting Time

Deceit whispers: Waiting doesn’t have to be so hard. Distract yourself—watch more television, keep your calendar full, make lots of plans. Time will pass more quickly if you’re too busy to think.

Truth responds: “…suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope…”(Romans 5:3b-4). There is pain in Waiting, but also great reward. Instead of burying yourself in distraction, choose to be still. Allow hours of stillness to open your eyes to hidden stains of pride in your thought life, your fear of surrender, lack of faith, and desire for praise from others. Choose stillness, and you will be better able to discern the voice of Him who leads you.

2. “Conviction,” a.k.a. Self-Righteousness

Deceit whispers: Vacations, new cars, eating out…those people obviously aren’t losing sleep over the orphans of the world. The money for their daily trip to Starbucks could go a long way toward your adoption expenses…

Truth responds: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3) Do you have food in your pantry? Have “leftovers” ever been a phenomenon in your home? Cease your complaints and comparisons, and beware of your misdirected pride in having less than some. Frugality is wise, but it doesn’t make you holy. Neither does adopting make you holy. Surrender your pride and echo the prayer of the repentant heart, “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

3. “Optimism,” a.k.a. Idealizing the Future

Deceit whispers: Waiting is the hardest part of adoption. Everything will be better when your baby is home.

Truth responds: “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth” (Proverbs 27:1). You dream of holding your little one close, rocking him to sleep, soothing every cry and loving away every fear. Are you doing this with the children you already have? Are you cherishing your husband, family, and friends…or are you losing ground to selfishness and pride? Rather than dreaming of a brighter future, devote yourself to loving others better today.

4. “Staying Informed,” a.k.a. Looking for Hope in All the Wrong Places:

Deceit whispers: Spend more time reading blogs, scouring chat groups, listening for rumors. The more information you can find, the better you’ll feel.

Truth responds: “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows”(James 1:17). Rumors are shifting shadows. Even the most sincere promises from trustworthy friends are shifting shadows. There is only one unchanging source of hope, and your adoption timeline rests in His hands alone.

5. “Realism,” a.k.a. Being a Victim

Deceit whispers: This wait is eternal, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re helpless, totally at the mercy of a foreign government.

Truth responds: “When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way” (Psalm 142:3). You are not waiting on Rwanda, you are waiting on God. He is good, He knows your heart, He loves your child, and He is faithful. Therefore, wait with hope, make room for stillness, and invest your energy in proactive ways—chronicle your journey, befriend other adoptive families, learn about your child’s birth country. Turn your eyes from yourself to others. Address the needs in front of you today, and leave tomorrow in God’s hands.

Remember, fellow travelers: Deceit’s end-game is confusion and discouragement. The enemy may not be able to prevent us from crossing the valley, but he can lead us down dangerous paths that bypass the many beauties of Waiting. Be vigilant, and remember that no matter what the enemy whispers in your ear, one thing is certain—Truth always has an answer. So as you walk, consume Truth, speak Truth, meditate upon Truth. Keep your eyes on the Word of Truth, for “your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path” (Psalm 119:105).

Until we meet on the mountaintop…

Thanks to Alison (no really, that's her name too!) for the post at her blog Embraced By Grace.

Dossier Time

"Dossier"  That word is so scary!  Our next step in the process is compiling lots of paperwork for our Dossier, and it's not going to be easy.  But, as Mark has said, "just take it one step at a time."  Good advice.  Is is so easy for me to look at the big picture, everything we have to get done, and get overwhelmed.  It is stressful to sit in a puddle of frustration day after day.  So, I must press on, taking it a day at a time.

One disappointing news item is that the only family ahead of us has dropped out of the Burundi program.  They decided that they has waited too long to pick up their child, so they switched programs to another country.  Unfortunately this means "their" child, the one picked out for them, will not be going home with a family any time soon.  It also makes me worry about the timeline for us to adopt when we reach that stage.  I must not despair, but remember that God is in control of timelines, governments, and mail services carrying our paperwork!  He has a plan for us, and He has a plan for that little one as well.  He will work things out in His time.

So, now on to the nitty gritty of paperwork gathering!

In the mail...

We received our copy of the home study in the mail today!

Dorky picture, I know!

Look at the nice note attached to it!  (I have to make it bigger, so that you can read it).  It's nice to have this step done!

Just a quick update and praise

We mailed all our documents for the I-800A application to our agency!  After getting a hold of the USCIS Military Help Line, I found out that I could get our fingerprints done on the base and just submit them with our application.  We had already been fingerprinted earlier, so I had a copy of fingerprints on hand to send in.  This is big!  In most cases, you submit your application, wait several weeks to get a fingerprinting appointment, then wait several more weeks just to get your fingerprints taken.  After that, they are processed by the FBI, and the results returned to USCIS.  In a sense, we are shortcutting through the beginning of that process.  Hopefully they except our fingerprints and start processing them right away!  This is our prayer, because there is always a chance they say, "Well, we want you to get them done again."  In any case, right now our paperwork is in our agency's hands, and they will be submitting it to USCIS for us.  So, hopefully that will be soon!

One...Two...More??

Recently we have been preparing our application to request permission from the US government to bring a foreign child into the United States through adoption.  This application is called the I-800A.  Filing out forms is easy enough, but this form presented a dilemma for me.

As Mark and I are going though this process, we have been planning on and picturing bringing home one young child to begin our family.  Our home study, interestingly, indicates that we are approved to bring home two children.  I think because we had originally told our home study provider that we are looking to adopt a child, but we would be open to a young sibling pair.  The question the I-800A asks is this: 

"Do you plan to concurrently adopt more than one child from the same Convention country? (Home study must contain a specific recommendation for the number of children you plan to adopt)"  Then we have to check "Yes" or "No" and "How Many?" 

What?  We have to make a decision now?  Our home study says two children, but what if we only want one?  I am not good at test questions like this!  What will the government think if we only adopt one child?  

And then I thought, God... what does this mean?  Are we supposed to adopt two children??  But this is how I was feeling... I only want to adopt one child first, so I can get the whole "mommy" thing figured out, and figure out how to connect to my child and help them feel apart of our family.  Then after that, we'll see what comes next.  But in my heart I know that once having my one child home, I will feel like I have more love to give, and more room in our home for another child.  How could I not feel this way?

And here's the thing, if we are presented with the option to adopt one young child of a sibling pair, how could we not adopt the sibling as well?  It would break our hearts to leave one behind.  Plus, there's all the other things that run through my head... our first child needs a play mate, it would be nice to have a brother or sister that looks like them, we want increase our family anyway, etc. etc.  But does that mean two at once?  

(Just a random photo of some orphans)

Only God can tell.  This we know.  God is sovereign, and He is a loving God over all creation.  He knows the child and/or children that will be joining our family.  He knows when they will be joining our family.  Is God trustworthy?  Absolutely!  Do I trust Him enough to put my faith in action, take a leap of faith, and fully believe that He will enable us to parent two children at once and provide for us in mighty ways?  That is what I pray I have the strength to do.  

This is what God has been showing me recently...  I must be willing to be humble and to rest in my weakness.  It is the very place God wants me to be, so that His power is made perfect in my weakness!  I cannot wait until I become the "perfect" mom before I adopt.  I cannot wait until I have fully implemented all the attachment strategies with my first child before even considering another.  Don't get me wrong, I am fully committed to working hard with our children to help them feel a part of our family, attached, and loved.  Does any new mom feel she is ready and perfect before having a child?  I am not perfect.  But I know Someone who is!  God can heal any hurt and trauma our children will experience.  He can use me to help them know about Him.  But I must not get in the way by trying to do things in my own strength.  I must be comfortable in my weakness, only so that he can be my strength. (This is hard for me because I am a perfectionist).

I must decrease.  He must increase.

Though the simple I-800A question caused me to think about so many things, it is worth it.  In the end, we said, "Yes, 2 children," knowing now that this does not mean we ARE adopting 2 children.  But that we have the option to if God calls us to do it.  So, don't freak out, we don't have any information on children yet.  We are just working on paperwork now, and dealing with the US government.  Thanks for bothering to read my crazy thoughts!

A Frog He Would a-Wooing Go?

While we were out and about the other day, I bought a CD of nursery rhymes, called this:

Ring-a-Ring O' Roses

(My CD actually has a more cartoon-like cover of kids holding hands in a circle)

Now if you are an American, you might think they got the title wrong.  What it "should" say is: Ring-Around the Rosie, right?  Well, the interesting thing about this CD is that it is British, produced by the English Heritage Society.  So, I thought it would be interesting to let our kids learn a few of the old-favorites nursery rhymes, but with a twist.  (Though, I don't think I knew quite how big of a twist it would be when I was buying the CD).  Some of the songs have different lyrics and different tunes.  And in true British pomp, it is accompanied by stringed instruments and sung by British choral-like voices.

What about you?  What was your favorite (or shall I say favourite) nursery rhyme?  Here are a few that are included on the CD:

1. Ring-a-Ring O'Roses
2. Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush
3. Baa Baa Black Sheep
4. Three Blind Mice
5. Jack and Jill Went Up the Hill
6. Hot Cross Buns
7. Hickory Dickory Dock
8. Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star
9. Hush-a-Bye Baby On the Tree Top
10.  Humpty Dumpty

And some that you may not know:

1. The Grand Old Duke of York
2. Oranges and Lemons
3. I Had a Little Nut Tree
4. Lavender's Blue
5. Dance, a Baby Diddy
6. The North Wind Doth Blow
7. Who Killed Cock Robin?
8. If All the World Were Paper
9. Oats and Beans and Barley Grow
10. A Frog He Would a-Wooing Go

Hmm... What do these all mean?

Lastly, UPDATE: Our home study was finalized!  Woo Hoo!  We are getting closer now!  I will be awaiting a copy of it, so I can apply to USCIS.  Thanks for the prayers.

Update Thursday

I got some good news yesterday.  The one file we were waiting on to complete our home study was finally sent in to our agency!  I had submitted a request about a month ago and never got a response.  After a month of trying to contact someone, I finally got through yesterday, only to find out... they had just faxed it that morning!  So, it is a big praise that they actually got the fax in the first place, and we didn't have to put the request in again.  And it's a big praise that it is actually through now.  So I will start working on Step 5 now, apply for approval from the US government (US Citizenship and Immigration).  Yeah!

We are getting closer day by day!  I want to jump for joy, like this fun picture of these Zambian kids:

A Little Local Support

This week we got to attend our first local adoption support group.  I think it is actually run by the woman that prepared our home study.  We rushed to get there after Mark got off work, but I was a little unsure of the turnout because it was raining steadily.  Well, only one other family was there.  It was nice, though, to at least meet one other family who is going through the same thing as we are.  In fact, it was good to not focus on myself so much.  We found out that they have been waiting 2 and 1/2 years so far to bring home their children!  Wow!  When I think I've been waiting long, I remember now that it is nothing compared to some other families' journeys.  I am looking forward to meeting some more families that we can share experiences and information with.  So, we'll see how next month's meeting will go.

Mr. Elephant

Today I found a really cute, and really soft stuffed elephant for our little one.  It will be their first stuffed animal.

I do have a special intention for this guy, if it works out.  One of the distressing things for a baby being adopted into a new family is all the "strange" smells, i.e. everything smells different than their home country.  Our baby's mommy and daddy, us, will have a different scent than they are used to.  So, one idea that has been suggested is to pick a stuffed animal, blanket, something soft, and keep it close to us to get our scents.  Then hopefully we can send it on to our baby's foster care (I am not really sure what the living situation will be for our baby, but will I use "foster care" for this example) before we get there.  That way, the baby gets to know our scents before we arrive to whisk them away to a new and strange land.  One other plus, hopefully while our baby gets to cuddle with Mr. Elephant, he will retain some of the scents of their country.  When our little one arrives here, and is getting used to a new place, a familiar smell (coming from Mr. Elephant) will help to calm them.  If we aren't able to send him, at least our baby has a cute elephant waiting for them when they come home.

Blog-matic for Burundi

Sometimes during this adoption journey I can feel very alone.  Especially since we moved from a community with several adoptive families to the UK, where I know one family, who has adopted from the foster care system.  Therefore, I am trying to seek out community by going online.

There are many adoption blogs out there, and many adoptive families feel blogging about their experience is therapeutic, and is helpful for them....and provides a place for updates on the process.  I have found several blogs that have been encouraging to me.  But here is the problem:

Not only do I long to find others going through the adoption process in general, I want to find others who are in the same boat as me.  I want to find other families who are adopting transracially, I want to find other families who are adopting from Africa, and I want to find other families who are adopting from Burundi. Though I can find some blogs of families that meet some of those desires, I can't find many adopting from Burundi.  I know that I can learn from people who have adopted from Ethiopia, Rwanda, Uganda, etc.  But it's not the same as getting first hand accounts from someone who has adopted from Burundi.  

Such is the nature of being a "pioneer" in the Burundi adoption program.  We are the trail blazers.  We will be the ones to set the course for hopefully many others.  But sometimes being "first" is not all it's cracked up to be.  As far as we know, there is one family before us adopting from Burundi, and I am thankful I am not in their position.  They have been waiting for a long time, while the courts/government in Burundi get everything sorted out.  But neither our family nor theirs has the benefit of countless blogs of families who have gone before us.  We don't have the benefit of videos and photos and slide-shows of the adoption journey of different families before us.

Sometimes I am just dying for information!  Please show me a photo!  Please let me find a video!  But there is not much available.  I think to myself, could I just sneak on a plane and go down to visit Burundi myself?  But I know that would not be the wisest decision.  There is just a huge desire for someone else to know exactly what we are going through.  And so, I end up feeling somewhat alone in this journey.

I know that God knew what He was doing when He called us to adopt from Burundi.  It is His purpose for us to be "pioneers" in this process.  Even though I feel alone, I know that I am never really alone.  "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8)  And God is the only one who knows exactly what I am feeling, because He knows my heart.  "And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." (Romans 8:27)  I am thankful for a Savior who did not leave ME as an orphan.  "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God." (John 1:12)

So, through my insatiable desire for information and community, I long to be satisfied in the fellowship with the Father, and trust that He knows what is going on, and He will reveal it to me in His time.

Thanks for sticking with me through my frustrations and raw feelings about this process.

Planning for Baby

One thing that is hard to do because we are adopting is shop.  I love to shop, but I don't know who I am shopping for.  A boy? A girl? An infant? A toddler?  And when are they coming?  So, there is not much I can really plan at this point.  As I was telling my friend about this dilemma, she reminded me that one thing I could do is start collecting children's books.  What a good idea!

So I went to the local thrift shop and picked up these books today, all for $2.25.

Though these are good inexpensive books, what books would you recommend for children?  Any books you know that focus on adoption?

Burundi's Road To Recovery - Burundi

I wanted to share a video about Burundi.  It's 2 years old, but it has some nice cultural information about the country and the Burundian president.  It's kind of a long video, so if you are ready to sit for 21 minutes, here it is:

Words on Wednesday: updates, thoughts, and prayer requests

I called the agency preparing our home study yesterday, and one of the two missing files has come in.  That is good news.  Now, it's up to one lady in Florida to get the last file in.  I've left several messages for her, and have never been able to get in touch with her.  So, keep praying.

I have been working on filing out our application for the US government as well.  That is going OK.

As I am looking at what we have left to do in more detail, I am becoming aware that the whole process may take longer than I thought.  I might have underestimated how long it would take us to get forms back, and approvals.  So, the temptation for me is to worry.  I know that I shouldn't worry, so please pray that I put all my trust in God and His timing.  I thought I would also re-share our prayer requests we asked for when we announced we were adopting:

-Pray for us to trust in God’s control. 

-Pray He finds the right child at the right time for our family.

-Pray for the health and safety of our child.

-Pray for our patience to wait to be joined together.

-Pray for the process to move along smoothly and quickly.

-Pray for God to prepare us to be parents.

-Pray for eyes and hearts to be opened to our story and our new child.

-And pray for God to provide all our needs.

We appreciate your prayers and support so much.

Statistic Saturday

I just thought I would post a few statistics about Burundi today.

Burundi's total population is about 9.5 million.

There are about 6.33 children per woman.  That's a lot of kids!

Over 100,000 people are living with HIV/AIDS.

The median age in Burundi is 16 years.

The infant mortality rate in Burundi is 64 deaths per 1000 live births.

About 93% of the population's labor force is in agriculture.

68% of the population is below the poverty line.

Statistics taken from CIA world fact book.

I am not mentioning these statistics to slam Burundi, but to make you aware of the people that live there.  I hope to post more information on the country in a later post.  There are many needs in Burundi.  Please pray for the country.

Update One

Hello to all of you who have joined us on this journey.  I first want to put out there an update on where we stand in the process of our adoption.  First let me show you a rough timeline/checklist, as far as we understand it.  The simple version to begin with:

1. Fill out paperwork -----> 2. Get approved -----> 3. Go pick up our child!

Now for a more detailed checklist.  It looks like a lot.  Try not to get all confused.  OK, so, after we decide to adopt, we need to....

1. Find an agency to help us in the adoption
2. Meet with a someone who will prepare a home study for us
3. Send off paperwork, i.e. background checks, to accumulate in our home study report
4. Complete home study report and have it checked over.
5. Apply for approval from the US Government (USCIS)
6. Get fingerprinted and background checked, again
7. Compile all paperwork, and verify everything, into a dossier
8. Send dossier to Burundi
9. Receive information on current children waiting for adoption in Burundi, and let God guide us to the one who will be our child.
10. Fly to Burundi to pick up our child!

*A few terms, and our attempt at a definition:
Home study = A report prepared, usually by a social worker, describing the family who wishes to adopt, and states whether or not they seem fit and ready to be parents.  Includes criminal background checks, child abuse registry checks, FBI checks, autobiographies, references, birth certificates, marriage licenses, pictures, etc.  This report helps the US government decide if the family is able to adopt internationally.
Dossier = A complete folder of information on the Family which is sent to the country of adoption's government for approval.  Includes the home study report, officially verified documents, and US government approval.  This folder helps the country's government decide if the family will adopt from their country.
*I may compile a list of terms in a later post, or choose to define as I go.  We'll see.*

OK, so now for the update.  We have completed steps 1-3, and are working on step 4, completing our home study.  It is in the review process.  I am waiting to receive word that they have everything that they need and that the home study report is in order.

Now for the caveat, not everything goes exactly as planned.  For instance, when I thought that we had our home study done a month ago, upon further review, we were told we needed some more paperwork that was missing.  And that is how it goes.  So, we are not upset about this, but know that God's timing is perfect, even what seem to be "interruptions" in the process.  He is in control of when and how everything will come together.

So we welcome your prayers for a smooth process, and of course, feel free to pray for it to move quickly as well. :-)  Thanks for stopping by, I hope to post more soon.

Where to Begin....?

Thanks for stopping by our blog!  This blog is an attempt to provide information about the process of our adoption.  Most of you are asking, "How is the adoption going?"  Well, here is a place where you can look for those answers.  But this blog is not going to just be about the updates.  I want it to be a place where we can have honest thoughts about adoption, education on adoption (since many of you have questions about it), resources, pictures, journal entries, and more.  So, come join us in this journey.  We appreciate your support and prayers so much!

Stay tuned for the first of many posts....