My Aching Heart

Today my heart was turned toward Uganda. I was outside in the early morning, watching the sun rise and the clouds turn pink... Hearing the cicadas and insects chirp... Feeling the humidity and heat... It made me imagine being in Uganda again-- and my soul longed to go back.

It actually made my heart ache.

I thought about this little child who may become my daughter or son. I thought about her/him waiting there-- hoping for a Mom and a Dad. I thought about her/him waking up to the same sounds I was experiencing-- and then having a hungry belly.

I want to go to her/him. I want her/him to find and have a family. And I want that for the other children there too.

And I long for truth and ethics and cases being clear and above board. I pray, " God, you know how much I want this. But I want your will to be done. And I want it to be ethical. Please don't let us adopt a child that should have stayed in Uganda because they truly have family to care for them."

I really don't know where the Lord will lead us eventually. I long for Uganda, but it may not be there. He knows.

I pray also for news, information, some form of update. SOON.

I still pray we can travel before the end of the year. As the weeks go by, it's hard to not doubt that possibility. There is still enough that needs to happen before traveling that it seems crazy to travel by then since we don't even have a referral yet.

I trust God. He knows what He is doing in Uganda. I pray all the time that He is watching over our future child, comforting them, giving them hope, showing them love, protecting them. He is able to place the lonely in families. He is able to move paperwork along. And He is sovereign to choose the exact timing of it all, and can prepare everything to happen in His timing. Lord, help me trust you more.

Comfort my aching heart.

P.S. I know I haven't posted in a while. There is not much to share. Our Dossier is in Uganda, but we are in the phase of just waiting for a referral or a child. We've had some indication that things are moving, but still not the news we long to hear yet. This is a tough phase!

Big Praises!

Hmm... I am due for an update!

We were in the waiting phase... waiting on our USCIS pre-approval.  It was the final piece to a completed Dossier to send to Uganda.  We left it in God's hands, and I didn't stress over it.  

A couple of weeks ago I got a phone call in the middle of the night.  Usually this means it is not important.  When I answered it sounded a like a sales pitch or someone trying to fish for information.  They were asking for my address.  Immediately wary, I asked again who was calling and soon realized it was United States Citizen and Immigration Services!  It was the middle of the day where they are, so of course, they are not really considering the time difference.

Come to find out, our application had been approved, but it was sent back to them in the mail.  They were not able to send it to our unique address, so they were asking for another address to send it to.  I was able to have them send it to our agency and told them I was very glad to hear that we had been approved (turns out we were approved several weeks prior too, and just didn't know it).  Yeah!!

Now I can breathe a sigh of relief over finishing this step of the paperwork process.  Our Dossier is complete and is.... HEADED TO UGANDA THIS WEEK!!

I am hopeful that we are getting closer to information about an addition to our family!  I am trying not to get my hopes up, so to speak, that this will happen anytime soon.  I know how things move at a different pace in Uganda.  And I want to make sure that whatever child(ren) join our family are ones that really DO need a family.

Another PRAISE is that just as we are needing to send in our next set of adoption fees (a large sum), we received our tax return with almost the EXACT amount that we need to send in!  The timing was perfect.  God provided!

And so next we wait.... and wait...  which brings me to some verses that have been in my head recently,

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope; 

my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning." -Psalm 130:5-6

Yes, my hope is in the Lord.  He is working in our adoption.  He is working in our hearts as we wait.  Our waiting isn't just waiting... it's waiting UNTO HIM.  It's leaning into Him and asking for the timing that brings the MOST glory to His name.  The situation, the child, the process -- that results in God getting the most glory.  

That is the struggle: to empty ourselves, to realize that it is not about US, and to believe that it is all about HIM.

So, bring on the waiting!  May HE get the glory!!

Application Acceptance!

Thank You!  Praise the Lord!

We received an acceptance receipt in the mail yesterday!  It looks like they will process our application despite having the "expired" application form.  We don't have our immigration APPROVAL yet, but hopefully that will come in the next 1-2 months.

I forgot what else I was going to write about, so I will just leave you with this cool music video shot in Kampala, Uganda:

Getting Immigration Approval (hopefully)...

Okay, my prayer warriors, here's an update so far.  

Our agency sent an email to USCIS asking if they would accept our application.  The response wasn't "Yes, of course!"  This is what the USCIS officer said:

If it was received, receipted and not returned to them as rejected, then it has been accepted and will be processed.  If it is returned to them as rejected because it is an outdated form then they will need to refile on the new form.

Okayyyyyy.... so very clear. 

But we DID get a case number in an email notification from the USCIS receiving facility!  Does that mean it was accepted?  I don't know.  We have to wait to see if we get an acceptance receipt in the mail, which might take at least another week.  OR, we may get mail at that time that our application was rejected.

I've tried checking the status of our case on their website, and it tells me that my case number is "invalid."  I am not sure if the website is just having problems or if our application really was rejected.

So, we will keep looking for some news in our mailbox.  

If you can imagine our paperwork craziness right now... 

Not only have we been gathering and preparing for our Homestudy, 

BUT we have also been doing the paperwork for our Dossier, 

AND we have also been doing paperwork for a Certificate of Citizenship (for Gambo), 

AND we have also been doing paperwork for a Post-placement report (for Gambo)

...ALL at the SAME TIME!

It's tough to keep straight!  Thank goodness for my filing systems, and excel spreadsheets, and google email labels.

All that's left is to leave you with a cute photo of me and my little man!

Just Arrived!

Praise!  Our Homestudy is done!!!

Today we got an email that our homestudy arrived at our agency!  Thank you all for praying.  It was held up by a snowstorm in the states.  When you can't get into to the office, there is just nothing you can do.  

I forget all about snow since we don't experience it on a daily basis for our winters on this island.

Now our Dossier is complete except for our immigration pre-approval, called a I-600a.  And today our I-600a application was finally sent with our homestudy included!

Big item for prayer: There is a chance that even though we completed our I-600a application a while ago, since it wasn't sent until today, it will not get there by Monday.  And on Monday, I just discovered, USCIS (US Citizen and Immigration Services) will no longer accept the version of application that we had filled out.  Ugh!  So, it will probably mean more delays as we will have to fill out a whole new application.  Maybe for some odd reason they will accept it.  You could pray for that, or just pray that we will accept this extra step with grace and patience.

The hardest thing in this adoption process is the delays that seem "avoidable."  Every delay means a child is waiting just that much longer.  But we had no control over a snowstorm that delayed our homestudy arriving earlier in the week.  And we know that ultimately God is in control!  He has this child (or children) in His hands.  He is able to protect and care for them, even in "delays."  His timing is perfect.

If there is something that He taught us though our first adoption, it is that very concept.  It was over three years before we held our cute little Gambo in our arms.  

If things had moved along "faster," than we wouldn't have him in our lives.  He wasn't even born yet back then.  And we would have even been looking in the wrong place for him.  So, it took until just the right time to connect us with our little man.  I am so thankful for that connection!

So we pray for another wonderful connection with the next child(ren) to join our family.  Thanks for all your support for us during this long process!

Big Update... you don't want to miss it!

Wow... it's been almost 8 months since I updated.  Which I knew, of course... I just wasn't ready to update yet.  

First, life got in the way.  Moving to a new country, a new culture, a new home, trying to find new friends, a new church, new grocery stores... it takes a lot of time to feel fully settled.  So, updating the blog went on the back burner.

Our life has been far from boring!  The past several months have been filled with adventures, new firsts, growth spurts, and new skills learned.

OK, let's get the Big News out of the way before I start updating you on other things... it's what you really want to know anyway.

Our little Gambo has something he would like to announce....

YES!  He is going to be a big brother!  Not by pregnancy, but through Adoption!

We are adopting again!!

We are going to be adopting from Uganda again, since we have grown to know and love that beautiful country.  And we are excited for Gambo to have something in common with his siblings.  Not just having another sibling with the same skin color as him (which helps a bunch), but also one from the country where he was born.  

Now for the details:

1. Where are we?  We are in the beginning stages of starting this adoption.  However, we have already completed some paperwork.  

*Okay, time to be real...  We were so excited to begin this journey again, as God laid it on our hearts, but we were not ready to share it with the world since we didn't have any sort of timeline to when things would happen.  We went through a LONG wait to bring home our first little one from Uganda, and we may be in for more of the same, but we really don't know.  

So, my thoughts were, Why put everyone though that?  Why tell them we are adopting just to have them wait for 3 years and keep asking questions like "Any News?" over and over for 3 years?  Why set them up for potential matches and then have them fall through?  It's painful.  It's embarrassing.  It's difficult to talk about.  It's uncomfortable.  I don't want to do it again.  See, I really was thinking about me all of you!

But then I realized that YOU guys were my support.  YOU guys were my prayer partners.  YOU guys were my kingdom fighters.  And it's lonely to do it on my own.  Yes, it is hard to face challenges that I am not sure I am ready for, but wouldn't I rather do it with YOU by my side?  Yes!

Okay, back to... paperwork.  We began a homestudy, got background checks, filled out questionnaires, and turned everything in.  We even collected and turned in all paperwork for the Dossier for Uganda.  We are now waiting on a finalized homestudy.  We need this last piece of the puzzle to add to our Dossier, and to apply for US immigration approval.  

We honestly wanted to wait until we had word that it was officially complete before letting you all know.  Again, it was fear. So, here I am, letting you all know that it is NOT complete, and I need your prayers.  It is out of our hands.  There is nothing we can do.  I am not sure why it is taking so long just to finalize, but there could be a number of factors-- people being out of the office, files being lost in email-land, wrong updated versions, miscommunication, no communication, who knows?

So, as I questioned out loud, "Where is our homestudy?  Where is our homestudy?" when I checked my email for the 100th time before 9am, I realized I was saying this in front of my 3-year-old.  I was setting an example of worry and anxiousness.  Immediately Phil 4:6 came to mind:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Oh...yeah... So my son and I stopped and prayed right away together that our homestudy would come soon.  Oh, it feels so good to take it to God in prayer!  So, I ask that you pray with me!  And pray also for my peace, that I would not worry or be anxious.

2.  Children.  We are applying to adopt 1-2 children, either gender, up to 4 years old by the time of placement.  We need to stay in birth order, so we have a small age bracket that will work for our family.  We are open to siblings, twins, or a single child.  We know there are many children waiting for a family at the baby home in Uganda, but many of them are just a bit older than our age range, or are making plans for reunification with family (not adoptable).  So, we trust that God has a hand in which child(ren) will join our family, and we will need to wait for a referral from our agency.


3. Timeline.  We wish we knew!  Ha ha!  We are hoping for completed Homestudy soon, another 1.5-2 months waiting on immigration approval, dossier transmission to Uganda sometime in the Spring.  If we receive a referral this summer, maybe we can apply for a court date and end up traveling by fall or at least by the end of the year.  ONLY a guess.  -->Here's how it probably will go down... rush to complete paperwork... Bump in the road... wait several months... rush to complete paperwork... Bump in the road... wait several more months... More bumps... skies finally part... several months or a couple to years later we travel to Uganda! (Or have to switch to a different country, who knows!).  

*THE PLAN is to follow God's will wherever He leads us.  
*THE HOPE is that another child who needs a family would bless us to come home to be with us.
*THE HOW is up to God.


4. What does Gambo think?  He is excited.  We have been talking to him about a brother or sister for quite a while, and he likes the idea.  He would be GREAT with a sibling!  He sometimes talks about things that he would like to do with a sibling, but sometimes says he doesn't want to share his room (or his Mama) with a sibling.  He is a Mama's Boy!  We also talk a lot about going back to Uganda, and he is very excited for that.  He is looking forward to seeing his primary caregiver at the baby home, who we have continued to talk about and share about with him since coming home, because she was a big part of his life.  We talk about things we are looking forward to doing... riding Boda Boda's, eating Chapati and rice and beans, etc.  We loved Uganda, so we talk about it a lot.  And it is important for him to have a positive view of his home country.


5. How does that work living in Japan?  We are still figuring all of this out.  We found a wonderful homestudy agency who will work with us here (they do home studies for other families here quite often).  We will gather information on how to bring the child(ren) into Japan, and also when to stop off in the U.S. to get the US immigration paperwork started.  Some things take extra time to receive in the mail, and sometimes we have to attach cover-letters to explain our situation, but otherwise, it should work just fine.

MOST OF ALL, we welcome your enthusiasm and support for what we are embarking on... our next "Journey of Adoption."

P.S.  I really kind of ran out of space to do a full update, so I will leave you with just a few recent pictures from our snowboarding trip to Niseko, Japan.

3-year-old on a snowboard!

Learning tips from daddy

Sipping hot cocoa with mommy