Sunday, July 27, 2014

Transitions are hard.

Transitions.

We have finally gotten settled in our new home.  After a couple of months of inconsistency, it feels great to be in one place for a long period of time.

It can be especially hard on children from hard places.  It causes a lack of control in their lives, and they know what that feels like at a basic level.

So, we planned on keeping a few items with us after the movers packed most of it away.  One of the items that stayed was a souvenir purse my mom got me from Equador... which Gambo took to right away!

(He looks so hipster in this photo, wearing my scarf)

He loved getting to put all of his little toys in one bag that he could carry around with him.  And he loved that he could say he had a "purse" just like his mom has a purse!

Well... he became VERY attached to that purse.  It makes sense.  When all your toys start disappearing, and you are feeling like you've lost control, you cling to what is familiar.  He would go almost Nowhere without that purse!  It was a comfort to him.

And we were ok with that.  We knew that he needed something to help him get through such a stressful time.

After saying "bye-bye" to our things in California, we told him all about the day that he would get to say "hello" to his things in Japan.  And that day arrived...




He COULD NOT wait to see some of his favorite toys again... his toy vacuum, his stuffed animals, his Winnie the Pooh Bear...

He was so happy!

Another cute discovery he made was a kitchen cabinet that seemed to fit him just right.


He decided to move in, and make it his favorite play place!


Having a small closed space like this can actually be comforting for him, and help him feel safe when there are so many other things to distract him.


He loves to play here, pretending that he is "getting in the car," "boarding an airplane," "going shopping," or "going to church!"


Now that he has his toys back, the importance of that "purse," has diminished (though it is not gone), and he has taken to new items.



We've also bought a car,


weathered a Typhoon,


transitioned him to a toddler bed (which he loves),


and only just begun to explore this beautiful island.


It's important to keep reassuring him that we will never leave him, he is safe with us, and we will help him through the transitions.  THAT has gone a long way to making the move successful.

We are excited to see the next phase in his life as he has already begun asking more and more questions (see previous post), trying out his new skills and exploring his surroundings.

Every word spoken to him, every compassion expressed, every time we work to meet his needs... is an outpouring of God's grace in our lives.  Without His help, there is no way we could help heal a fragile heart, and help build up a confident young man.  We are constantly looking to the Lord to guidance as we parent our little boy.  And we are so thankful that God has chosen us for this job!

Friday, July 25, 2014

Bellies and Tears

It began with a observation about Mary.

As my son flipped through the pages of his children's Bible he found the story of the angels telling Mary she would give birth to the baby Jesus.

"Where's Mary?  Where's Mary?" he repeated.  He is full of questions these days.

I asked him what was special about Mary.  Did he know that Mary carried baby Jesus in her belly?

A look of wonder came across his face.

"Jesus in Mary's belly?"

"Yes"

"Journey in Aunt Chrissy's belly."  

(His Aunt Chrissy just had my newest niece, named Journey, and he remembers that he got to touch her belly before Journey arrived.)

And then the words came out of his mouth...

"[Gambo] in Mama's belly... [Gambo] in Mama's belly?"

... my ears heard them in slow motion.  And then all of the sudden I felt tears welling up.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I so wish you were in my belly!"

I run over to scoop him into my arms, while I sit on the floor with him.


"I didn't get to carry you in my belly.  That was your first mama, your birth mama.  She got to carry you in her belly, in Uganda."

"Uganda?"

"Yes, that's where you were born."  (And then I continue to tell him his story again, as I have told him before, about how he came to be in our family... only this time I sense he understands it with more clarity about what it really means)

I have to pause every now and then to keep from bursting into sobs.

He snuggles closer and lets out a little whimper.

I hold him and tell him that I will never leave him.  I will be his mama forever, God willing.

He's stuck with me until he is 105!

Eventually we are both looking into each others eyes and giggling.  He feels safe again.  He feels reassured.


This is only the beginning...  many more questions will come.  Many more heart wrenching moments.  Many more opportunities for connection.  Many more smiles and giggles.

This is adoption.  This is life.  This is God weaving together a family in one of the most amazing ways.

Praise Him!

[Gambo] is the nickname I use for him on this blog.